This is a story that happened but never existed... or something like that. It was all over the place on Thursday, but completely denied on Saturday by the same man who supposedly made the statement. Good for him, because I think millions were going to fight him fiercely if he hadn't. Let's begin at the beginning. Last Thursday, the media announced that the Minister of Education had decided that music would not be taught in schools anymore. This decision was allegedly based on a personal conviction – music corrupts schoolchildren! I don't know what provoked me more, banning music or insulting all those who love it by insinuating that they have been corrupted. Frankly, I was really furious and thought I might as well stop writing because there was going to be no music to write about in the future anyway! It is ironic that my last week's article was about music and the brilliant effect it has on people in general, specifically children. Part of that article was about teaching music and how pupils benefit from it academically. Any person who decides to ban music in schools knows nothing about education and would be only experimenting on the youth. If someone has been appointed to monitor the welfare of our children, he shouldn't kill the hope of young ones, who regard music as a sort of sanctuary. Nor should he ever deprive children of their rights and freedom of choice. Any man who believes musicians are corrupt shouldn't be involved in cultural or educational work. It was a declaration that schoolchildren are not supposed to have any fun or learn something that would help develop their skills and improve their exam marks. They should be oppressed and brainwashed; instead of growing up, they should be like sheep. Besides, even if we were going to hypothetically support this ban, there are serious issues that would have to be resolved first, like the safety of pupils and the crisis in the educational system. So, even if someone does want to ban music, this should never be his priority. I used to say that I was unlucky, because music wasn't taken seriously at school. Frankly, everything I've learned about music was not learned at school, but at least it wasn't banned there. When this issue was mentioned on television, the presenter said that the Ministry of Education refused to comment, claiming that it was a trivial issue. I would like to tell this so-called Ministry that it could never be trivial and, if they really think so, they should remember that they were not appointed to make our lives harder. Apparently, they know nothing about bringing up young people. If music leads to corruption then that means musicians and those involved in anything related to music are corrupt. Isn't that slander? I was seriously thinking of suing that person, but... he denies making that statement. Don't people know that countless musicians all over the world are constantly involved in charitable events to help others? What has our Ministry of Education ever done for anyone? I am convinced that there is a plan to kill music in Egypt and that this is the first step towards doing so. In the days of the Ancient Egyptians, this country excelled in music and even introduced to the world new instruments like the harp. Besides, Arab countries have presented new styles to Europeans, while, for instance, the guitar is an evolution of the oud (lute). Of course, Africa is the origin of the world's most popular music genres now – rock, jazz, blues, rhythm and blues, gospel, etc. I don't have to remind anyone that Egypt is an Arab-African country and that someone was allegedly going to wipe out the future of music in our country. If that anti-music statement had been made, I would have been very interested in the Syndicate of Musicians' reaction. I believe it would have defended itself and its members by taking legal action. Otherwise, there would have been no syndicate and no musicians in the first place. If it really were a plan to terminate music, then it would have been a vicious one, only leading to millions of people being laid off... yes, millions of people who work in various segments of the music business. The next step would have been closing down the Faculty of Musical Education, which teaches its students to be music teachers. What school would employ a teacher who doesn't have a subject to teach? I think the Cairo Conservatoire would have followed, making sure that there wouldn't be any musicians among the younger generation. In the process, Cairo Opera House with all its departments would have been forced to shut down. Do you know how many people work in that place alone? Of course ballet was not mentioned, but do you think that someone who believes that music corrupts might be a supporter of ballet and its virtues? Regardless of the dancing, and boys holding girls and wearing funny outfits, ballet is danced to music! Egypt has music radio stations and TV channels that would have been forced to close down for the lack of new material and for corrupting young people and adults too. Being a DJ must be a horrific crime in the eyes of someone who hates music that much, which means that all DJs would have been on the verge of losing their jobs too. In that case, what would the record companies have done? Nothing related to music! Add to the unemployment list recording and rehearsing studios. Being a record producer or sound engineer would have been as nasty as being a drug dealer, because drugs and music corrupt people. Next time you take the lift, make sure music is not played inside it. Only bad hotels and mean companies would allow music in their lifts. If someone put you on hold and you heard music on the phone, you would have to report them. They might be trying to seduce you! You must also stay away from those who use ringtones on their cell phones. They are corrupt people and you wouldn't want to be near them. If you accidentally heard any music, you would have to make sure you washed your ears properly. For best results we recommend Dettol. Then you would have to destroy any offensive items you had, like CDs, speakers, headphones and my articles. I have one question to ask: Why didn't the Ministry deny these ‘allegations' immediately, instead of saying that this issue was a trivial one? Maybe someone said something and then he realised that all hell would break loose, so he denied it. Send me your MUSIC to: [email protected]