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Friendship and business
Published in The Egyptian Gazette on 04 - 12 - 2010

Many experts say that friendship and business do not mix. However, there must be some pros and cons of being friends with your boss.
Talking about how good is the idea of becoming friends with your boss, Niret Alva co-founder and executive chairman of Miditech Pvt Ltd. opines "don't think this is something that you can legislate. It depends a lot on the chemistry and the kind of people you and your boss are".
Most bosses would like to be treated with friendly respect. According to CEO, Netxcell Limited, "Synergy is best seen when there is a certain amount of trust, comfort and camaraderie shared between people. Being a good friend with your boss means that you are able to work in an ecosystem that is conducive to open communication and constructive feedback."
Since boss knows your strengths and weaknesses very well, appropriate assignments will be delegated. As you are exposed to his/her style of working, your learning curve shortens considerably and you gain access to each other's network and always have the open option of sharing any genuine concern.
But as in the case with all other relationships, a strong friendship between the boss and his/her subordinate does have…well, a flipside.
The disadvantage is that it's not likely to be an equal relationship.
Where does friendship end and work begin? Will you take things personally even if the boss is ticking you off professionally?
Here's no easy answer. Some employees start taking the liberty and misusing the freedom given to them. The employee starts taking work for granted which leads to issues in performance.
The major disadvantages come in two flavours -- one due to perception and the other due to misuse of rank.
For one area, genuine efforts recognised and rewarded usually are dismissed by others as based or favoritism. So what should be the best approach to maintain a friendly relationship? Raj Menon CEO of Conetstg2win.com feels that one should remember to never cross boundaries.
That is the most difficult part to manage as boundaries are relative. What is appropriate for some may not be for the other. Also, remember to maintain your professional attititude and compartmentalise your life -- if you went out socialising with the boss the previous night, it's important to turn up at work on time.
Never gossip about your colleagues or reveal their personal matters. Long time ago, I had an article on the subject titled "How Close Is Too Close?", and never recovered from your comments!
Most managers I know play it safe, by keeping their distance. Oswaldo L., a Chinese-American CEO for a multinational company in Egypt once told me that as much as he enjoys his work, he enjoys his holidays. He "won't party with his employees, it's bad enough having those many long working hours with them".
To the contrary, Samir Younis, Amr Kais and the late Violette Fayek ran their teams as a group of friends.
They would even go into details of personal issues with their team members. They had great achievements, as well as their share of down-time.
It might be difficult to draw a line as where to stop, since it all depends on situations: people, culture, tasks, maturity...the elements are several.
But if you want to go for it, and worried about concerns, you have to set a measure as where to stop. A recommended security valve is to observe subordinates' behaviors.
If they cross the line (that you have pre-set between you and yourself!) then the quickest answer is to raise the bar of formality.
It is OK for subordinates to call you by your first time, share a joke and laughter. But if that took the turn of throwing their arms around you, or giving you nicknames or (worse) mess around with their deadlines, you may want to go formal.
A Mister or Miss before their names, or pulling back physically, or ignoring the unwanted comment might send a strong message that "those comments are not welcomed".
Final words:
Invest in relationships. (Think ROIR: Return On Investment in Relationships.)


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