By Hagar Saeed Many sociologists have recently called for providing marriage preparation courses for young people planning to get married in order for them to learn positive patterns in managing the struggles of marital life. Such calls became louder after President Abdel Fattah El-Sisi advocated - on the sidelines of the Sixth Annual Youth Conference held at Cairo University late last month - pre-marital courses for engaged couples to limit the increasing divorce rate. A recent report issued by the State-run Central Agency for Public Mobilisation and Statistics (CAPMAS) showed that the highest divorce rate is in the age group 25 to 30 years. The cases of divorce in this group recorded 38,842 last year-- around 20 per cent of the total divorce cases. Mahmoud Ghalab, a sociology professor at Ain Shams University, explained the reasons why the young sometimes do not stick to marriage with the same determination as earlier generations. "One thing is that the current generation has to grapple with joblessness and sometimes an inadequate income," he told The Egyptian Gazette. He also said that a poor choice of partner, the inability to negotiate differences and a lack of understanding are often major reasons for the break-up of a marriage in its early years. "Some girls who fear spinsterhood are pressured into accepting any man proposing to them, overlooking sometimes emotions and mutual understanding. This leads to a flimsy marriage that stumbles as soon as problems begin," he said. Ghalab also referred to the fact that marriage has also failed to keep pace with women's expectations. More and more women who get married are employed. They are no longer seeking a breadwinner, but rather a loving and understanding husband, a wish that can never be fulfilled given the way marriages are currently handled." Laila Husseiny, a family relations therapist, told this newspaper that the young must be prepared for marital responsibilities, advised on how to select their partners, and coached on how to keep a marriage from breaking up in its early years. "It is necessary for spouses to talk about their problems, admit their differences, and come up with the right compromises," she said. Those who don't talk to each other, she said, face a greater risk of divorce. That's why, Husseiny said it is important to lay on state-sponsored courses for would-be couples in order to teach them how to negotiate their differences, and develop a better understanding of each other. Azza Rayan, another family relations therapist, also strongly advocates the holding of regular state-sponsored marriage preparation courses. "Pre-marital counselling is a great way for would-be couples to be prepared for the responsibilities of marriage so that they can go into marriage armed with skills that are going to be very helpful," Rayan said. According to her, married couples know how to get along when things are good. But the trick to maintaining a healthy relationship in marriage is learning how to fight well. When couples are not able to fight fairly and candidly, then the marriage will struggle. "Conflict between married couples is normal and provides opportunities for them to grow. Pre-marital courses can help prevent couples from establishing negative patterns for managing conflict in their relationship," Rayan said. "Such courses should also educate would-be couples how they can face the pressures of financial status without influencing the stability of their marital life, and how to bring up their children properly in the future," she said. Rayan has also called for establishing an office for family guidance in each neighbourhood to help treat family-related problems. "Therapy can help immensely in uncovering the source of conflict and suggesting practical, impartial, and effective ways of resolving martial conflicts," she said.
