In the field of advertising, as in life, a healthy dose of self-esteem isn't a nice-to-have. It's a must-have. Let me put it in less dramatic terms: Without it, you're dead. So your parents did a number on you. Or maybe you were blighted with a troll-like countenance or a stutter that sounds like a faulty machine gun or a stature so diminutive that mall attendants regularly ask you if you're lost and can't find your mommy. Whatever your personal damage, you need to come to terms with it quickly and focus on the things of value you bring to the table and use them to achieve personal success. Watch out, Oprah, I'm gunning for your job. The reason I'm giving you this Saturday morning pep-talk (and I assume you like to catch my column the day it appears.unless you're reading because your falafel sandwich came wrapped in it) isn't because I care about your well-being (hell, no) or think all human beings deserve to do well (God, no). My reasons are much more prosaic and self-serving: low self-esteem is counter-productive. And when I take over and become president, I don't want a bunch of slacking, whining malcontents not doing their jobs, driving down the GDP and causing me to have to fix the next elections by an even wider margin than usual. People with low self-esteem fall into a cycle of blaming themselves for the misfortunes which life regularly vomits into everyone's lap. They have the vanity to delude themselves into thinking God took time out of his busy schedule to blight them with an extra dollop of stupid or an added helping of ugly. He didn't. He has better things to do with his time. Whereas well-adjusted people get over their disappointments fairly quickly and turn their attention to finding a solution, low-esteem people like to wallow and convince themselves they deserve it: my boss is picking on me because I am, in actual fact, a moron; my team lost because I'm cursed; my girlfriend left me because I'm hung like a baby robin. Get over yourself. Your boss picks on you because it's funny to see insecure people squirm. Your team lost because you're Zamalkawy and your girlfriend left you because she wants to be with me. Now, I don't have a problem with the concept of low self-esteem per se . after all, it might be justified. It's possible that you really do suck and that low self esteem is a natural response to a compelling body of evidence that points to your utter incompetence. In fact, too much self-esteem is more annoying: people who think they're God's gift to humanity, when in fact they're about as useful as a second anus. You see, people need to feel special. And if there's nothing special about them, they'll settle for self-pity, because it's comforting and it makes them feel like martyrs. So how does one arrive at the correct level of self-esteem so one isn't weighed down with unnecessary anxiety and unrealistic expectations? The secret lies in an important life skill called critical thinking, not to be confused with criticism, constructive or otherwise. Critical thinking is the ability to look at a statement or a theory or an entity and question its underlying premise. To ask yourself questions about its origins and to consider alternatives to its assertions. It's the ability to doubt everything you've been taught. Simply, because if you believe everything you were taught, how will you ever make it better? It won't stagger you to learn that in Egypt, critical thinking isn't encouraged. For a simple reason: it conflicts with a massive directive that urges, nay, insists that old people and even older traditions have to be respected, regardless of their validity or contribution. Merit is just a brand of cigarettes, over here. That's why most teachers don't encourage kids to challenge their teachings. Because that amounts to insubordination and insolence, and the point of schooling isn't to promote learning, it's to instil discipline and compliance. Also, in our society, it is almost impossible to separate a person from his opinion. If you pick at someone's opinion, then you're attacking them personally. It's ironic that a field like advertising, strewn with more lies than a government newspaper, would be the most adept at teaching as honest and true a skill as critical thinking. Because you need that kind of honesty to judge whether people will believe your ads or not; effectively, you need honesty in order to promote lies! That's what I hate most about censorship. Not that it's aggravating, but that it prevents other people from forming their own opinions of what the truth is. I know from my own work that things don't improve unless you criticize them. Constructive criticism is a lost art, or really a never-found art. And if people are interested in achieving actual results, they'll thank you for your honesty, as long as you're being objective and fair. Honesty over politeness. Over tradition, even. It sounds radical but it's not, it's just common sense. Though, as my dad always says, common sense isn't really all that common. Mohammed Nassar was kidnapped at birth and forced to work in advertising, in Cairo, New York and London. Today, his main concern is that archaeologists will one day stumble upon his desk, debate the value of his profession and judge him. Feel free to email him at [email protected].
