Part 1 of ‘A Man's World ... ?' brought up current harassment issues and the fears it brings into the daily lives of women, both local and foreign, as well as, the international perception or views that these events and instances have birthed; all the while seeking to answer the ultimate question of whether this is in fact, a man's world. Now what about the men in our lives? What about those that are affected by these everyday occurrences that plague this society and as we know it well, Tahrir? What is the role of men in society (both here and in the western-world)? And how do we women overcome fear after such attacks? If you've read any of the harrowing accounts by any of the women that were attacked in Tahrir, there seems to be one commonality; the women claim to have gone with friends to the infamous square, usually a big group of friends, including men, and this big group of friends or men were there trying to protect them, when the attack occurred, but could not. I say this, and I speak from experience. It doesn't matter if you have one or ten huge, able and strong men (your friends or family) surrounding you in Tahrir; it doesn't matter because in the end they are no match for the ‘frenzied mob,' it's a numbers game you see. Sad, dark truth and you may even say that it straddles the border of pessimism, but I say, “folks, that just be a ‘good ole shot of reality!" A new kind of reality, a new lens out of which to look; a lens I never thought I owned, but seemed to have borrowed, since a night in November of 2011. This isn't going to be my account, nor another gory tale of Tahrir, but just take it on faith, that I speak from experience. Let's start by agreeing that living in Cairo, is quite the experience and at times quite the challenge. Men, I don't expect you to understand, though you may hear yourself say countless times- ‘I understand'- to the women in your lives... let's face it though, you will never fully ‘get it.' No worries... I'm not about to rage on, nor am I about to play a game of battle of the sexes here. This isn't even a superficial ‘boo-hoo, you don't get me, because you're a dude', but more of a ‘please try and admit to yourself and to all around you, that you just don't quite get it and that, that's ok.' There's no harm in saying you don't know. Men, I know I'm speaking generally here- you feel this insatiable need to be an all powerful, indestructible rock of sheer strength and success. Testosterone surging through your manly physique and by god, and the very hairs on your chest upon which you now beat so furiously (yup I have a King Kong image in my mind here), you will save that... wait what do you heroic fellows call it? Ahh yes, ‘damsel in distress.' Little do you know, the ‘heroic-act' has changed some over the years; especially these days, living here in Cairo. The ‘heroic-act' that your woman desperately desires, is an act of humility and generosity, rather than bravery and chivalry. She wants you to understand that it is not your job to save her, but rather, acknowledge that you are in fact equals (perhaps not by physical strength or size at times, but by cognitive ability, by power of mind, thought, and though you may not want to admit this, we are equally able to express our emotions, it's just society allows for one of the sexes to do so more freely than the other, that's all.) Though we can all admit, that in first seeing the men of Egypt with an ever so natural and habitual-like taking of the hand of their male friends, colleagues and acquaintances, or perhaps the overly homo-erotic dancing of the male gathering at parties or weddings to Shabby music, is in fact rather confusing to us, since the idea, and very utterance of such an idea of a male of Egypt being homosexual, is in fact, Harram! A Sin, strictly forbidden! Now back on point... Women, and I am speaking rather generally here too, but let's say that for the most part, women coming from the Western-world or some form of ‘democracy-run' state or brought up in a liberal and free mindset- well when you arrive in Cairo, and here on a mission (studies, work, etc...) the culture-shock that we have been told to expect, becomes so much more apparent as time goes by. For example, personally, my first few days, weeks and months here in Cairo was... was something else. I came here excited for life, for this journey, this adventure and thrill seeking opportunity of a lifetime to document history in the making as Egypt and her people took to this streets in protest! I was so lost in time here, that I barely found a moment to do all the generic, yet shamefully so fun, tourist-like tours and activities. Life, just daily life here in Cairo, was enough to occupy my time to the fullest. Over time, after the protests and ‘million-man march,' I felt my time filling up and/or getting lost along the way. The tension that then filled Cairo's stagnant atmosphere, started leaving me drained and frustrated at the lack of understanding of the people that I came here to write about, to share their stories, to essentially help voice their struggle- the very same people that I felt turned on me with the local rumors of conspiracy and of the so-called ‘invisible hand.' All this made it much harder to even walk the streets without concern. People always warn you of the culture-shock that you will most probably face, but all this, was no culture-shock, rather, I felt, as I am sure many do- a pure violation to women's rights, as well as, overall human rights. The right to walk freely, without fear and without discrimination, or the, taken for granted ability to tell a man off and tell him where to direct his (most obviously unrepeatable vile) comments...so to speak. Simple pleasures, gone. The simple, yet dire necessity for human beings being able to ‘voice' and express themselves freely; a loss so deep, a newly adapted disability forced onto women by society. That is no culture-shock. That is a loss... a loss of identity and of self. How are you expected to live, and just be as you are, as you once were, when the environment that you now live in, does not support your growth? Some say, that if you aren't growing, you certainly aren't living, but slowly dying on the inside- Like a tree or plant without sunlight eventually wilts and decays; the flame in one's soul, fights the stifling environment that threatens to extinguish. In other words, men don't assume to understand; don't be too quick to call ‘her' emotions and every feeling, paranoia; don't be the guy that judges her, or worse says he doesn't judge her, when you clearly do. We're human, people constantly evolving, for the most part, and changing every second. ‘She' has changed since you've met her, but understand that, times have changed, not allowing for the woman she once was to so easily exist now in this hostile environment, so ‘she' fights, like the growing tree, reaching from ‘her' very pit of earth, from ‘her' very roots, reaching for the light ahead, and at the same time struggles with her ‘old self' from within. There's not much you can do, but be there, for your friend, your sister, your cousin, your partner, etc...whether she is abroad or with you living in the same space. Hear her speak when she speaks to you. Really listen. Try to understand and don't be afraid to say you don't, and perhaps show her you are in it too, by expressing your fears, instead of assuming your expected role and taking of your place in her life as a ‘man', her bodyguard, a night in shining armor, yet when she walks with fear in her mind or heart, through the crowds of men with you, through Tahrir, through jostling streets of Cairo, she couldn't feel more alone. So hear her speak to you, through her body language, her voice, on equal grounds, and be there with her, on equal grounds. After all, things take time, and we all just need to communicate and adapt. Safe Travels fellow Touristas,
