Nahed Nassr wonders who wears the trousers "Men's rights" is hardly a new concept in this vastly patriarchal society. Al-Hag Metwalli was probably the latest televised drama to portray polygamy. A previous serial was named "Men of the World, Unite!" Yet unlike the media, which has approached the message in a light-hearted and sarcastic way, an NGO named Sissayed, after the hero of the late Naguib Mahfouz's Trilogy -- a household synonym for the middle-class patriarch -- seeks to reinstate the norms that informed the world of the Trilogy. Mahfouz's Sissayed was a household despot, a model of right conduct with a secret nightlife of debauchery, drink and hashish, but Naeem Abu Ghdda, who founded the association in July 2007, says he is interested in the positive, respectful side of the character. It was some 15 years ago in Tunisia, where women's rights are vastly more developed than in other Arab states, that Abu Ghdda noticed how "dangerous" it is for man-woman relations to be regulated by law -- and for this to be done, what is worse, with the woman's best interest in mind. Many Tunisian men, he could see, had boycotted their female compatriots, marrying foreigners, especially Frenchwomen, instead -- a natural consequence of such terribly unnatural circumstances. Abu Ghdda quickly reached the conclusion that legal interference in the household was not such a good idea, and when the opportunity presented itself -- such tendencies, alas, had begun to catch up at home -- he sought to prevent the law from getting in the way of matrimonial bliss here in Egypt. So he takes issue with legislation against domestic violence, for example, claiming that "our mothers and grandmothers kept such private secrets of the household even from their neighbours". He hopes to see the rule preventing women from travelling without their husbands' permission back in force. Women's liberation advocates "mostly suffer from physical and psychological problems", he insists. Never mind the fact that some of them are actually male: "that's why they hate men." Indeed, a recent publication of the association, by demonstrating that such people were either single or divorced, sought to prove just this point. Sissayed hopes to see men behaving "like real men" and presumably women as the meek helpless creatures they were always intended to be. "Men should uphold their historical rights with their women and children," he says manfully. "They must never let the rug be pulled from under their feet." What rug? The rug upon which Sissayed -- that is, the Real Man, stands, Abu Ghdda would respond. But what exactly defines this species? The first requirement for "building the Sissayed personality" is "a strong body achieved through sport". It is at this point that one begins to wonder whether Abu Ghdda actually worked with Mussolini. A recent football tournament for teenagers was accompanied by a seminar programme on the respective roles of the sexes in the family. "We teach young men to protect female members of their families, be they mothers, sisters, wives, or daughters..." The idea, he says -- and he says it in so many words, yes -- is to watch where women step both in and outside the house, making sure they stay where they should. Women should only work if they are to give their non-Sissayed husbands their salaries, otherwise -- and a true Sissayed would accept no such dishonour -- their time is better invested in their homes and children. This view is shared by Labiba Ali, a female member of the association: "working women sacrifice their families for extremely selfish reasons, especially if they don't need money." Indeed! Sissayed also provides family consultation to those mad enough to seek it there. "We have five branches in different governorates," Ali explains. "Many wives and husbands come to me to help them solve their household problems." Part of the work, of course, relates to countering the work of NGOs that, "promoting [degenerate] Western ideals that do not fit in our societies", as Abu Ghdda puts it, exaggerate domestic violence and rave against sexual harassment against women while "failing to address" what women wear -- as well as instances of harassment, both passive and active, that women perpetrate against men. Does this man have no shame? Indeed, when he ran for parliamentary elections, Abu Ghdda included no such ideals in his electoral programme, fearing that he would lose the votes of women, "many of whom mistakenly believe I am an enemy of women". The NGO has 620 members, 23 of whom are female; woman members play a vital role, he says, in tasks like menopause counselling. Like the Nazis before him, Abu Ghdda is particularly concerned with the environment -- the protection of which he believes to be closely related to the mission of Sissayed. "Lack of a healthy environment" -- streets overrun with poisonous waste, absence of greenery, life in tiny apartments -- make husbands less likely to treat their women well once they have been through an exhausting day; the same holds true for working women. Abu Ghdda dreams of the day when Egyptians will invariably ride bikes and live in more spacious apartments surrounded by gardens. Fair enough; the sad part is, he also believes, that "the Egyptian family will never be cured until Sissayed comes back". Nor is he the only one. Tarek Imam, founder of the Freedom for Men NGO, calls for ending "the feminisation of Egyptian society". His association's objectives include redrafting the law, introducing an Ideal Father as well as the Ideal Mother award and granting men alimony when they are divorced by khul' -- the relatively new procedure whereby a Muslim women can divorce herself. He also wants laws against sexual harassment of men and domestic violence perpetrated by women -- men have not only been beaten up but even, and famously, killed by their wives -- as well as a medical certificate to prove the virginity of a bride prior to marriage. Even Sayed Abdel-Hafiz, chairman of the Forum for Development and Human Rights Dialogue, seems to have some sympathy for men's rights. Overall he believes NGOs like Sissayed are after "some kind of fantasy". But it is true, he says, that in the forum's own report -- published in 2005 -- the number of men beaten up or killed by their wives is very phenomenal. Still, the issue can only be seen in the context of economic and cultural issues affecting both women and men. Perhaps it is the fact that women's liberation bodies, including the government's own National Council of Women, focus on women at the expense of men, that leads to such -- wrong -- reactions. But Abdel-Hafiz prefers to deal with citizens, he says, irrespective of gender. "Women are part of society; they should not have exceptional rights. They also have duties like everyone else. We've had enough women's rights calls, and most of the new laws give rights to women on the [absurd] presupposition that men are already in a perfect situation," he concludes. For her part, feminist activist Azza Kamel, founder of Appropriate Communication Techniques, believes men's rights advocates are but the hollow echo of social and economic frustrations, which people like Abu Ghdda are eager to take out on women: "Despite governmental and non-governmental efforts, the Egyptian woman has yet to be given her rights." Vulnerable social groups, including women, should be protected, not attacked. Calling for separate men's rights at this juncture, she says -- and one cannot help but agree here -- is rather a step backwards.
