Every month, football players, coaches and officials come up with some of the weirdest quotes and statements. FilGoal.com cites a compilation of the most catching extracts said throughout April. "Zamalek officials have used the media in Egypt to paint me black and because I can't read Arabic they get away with it. Not anymore." Junior Agogo should have spoken to FilGoal English! "Some reporters take pictures with me and then I see a fully fabricated interview based on that picture." No doubt Ahli boss Manuel Jose is at loggerheads with Egyptian media. "I went to the bathroom to call my mother and her words of encouragement eased my tension and helped me perform well." Zamalek youngster Hazem Emam reveals the secret behind his Cairo-derby display. "Some Ahli officials kept on publicly saying that we will lose the game for Ismaili's sake. This put my players under a lot of pressure and that's why they couldn't reach their full potential tonight." Zamalek assistant coach Sami Al-Sheshini offers his excuses after the embarrassing defeat in Ismailia. "How can it be right for top players to be earning £15, £20 million a year? It's crazy. These wages need to be capped. But I worry that it won't happen, because the Premier League and the FA are run by donkeys who don't understand business, who are dazzled by money," Fulham's Egyptian chairman Mohamed Al-Fayed. "I don't want to play in the Egyptian league anymore. I'm looking forward to playing in Europe. I'm waiting for other offers from Spain, England and Germany." European clubs are fighting for the signature of Ibrahim Saied. "We have an advantage over them. We are playing at home and there are many good players in the team. Both factors favor us to oust them," Young Africans striker Mike Baraza said before the Champions League second leg tie with Ahli, who were 3-0 up! "Chelsea will be under pressure because they have to win," Liverpool boss Rafa Benitez said before the Champions League second leg tie with Chelsea, who were 3-1 up. "Going onto the pitch the fans are singing your name, but I don't know what they're saying, I have to ask a friend. And if I meet people on the road they say something and I can't understand," Merreikh's Nigerian starlet Stephen Worgu describes life in Sudan.
Zak blasted "Our sister's kids are Bayern fans, but only because Hamit bribed them with replica shirts," Schalke's Halil Altintop accuses his twin brother of bribery. "With every goal I lose a kilo and it makes me feel wonderful. I have an objective - I want to score 30 goals in a season. At that rate of losing weight per goals scored I will end up wasting away!" Il Fenomeno explains his diet program. "He is unbelievable. Everything he does turns to gold. When I saw him two years ago in Holland, because we use the same physio sometimes, I asked to see his hands. He said 'yes, why?' I said that everything he puts his hand on turns to gold. He was laughing. He is fantastic." Robin van Persie on Guus Hiddink's magic. "You have to think ahead and I have played Barcelona twice in my head. In my head, I have never lost a game in preparation." Hiddink, the magician. "If president Moratti decides to sell him for €5million, then I'll buy him myself. Maybe even for 10, given how hard it is these days to invest in the banks," unfortunately for Jose Mourinho, Ibra won't be sold for just €10million. "Whenever Iniesta steps on to the pitch, he creates a spectacle. He is the best player in the world," Samuel Eto'o on his Barca mate. "First of all, Adriano is calm and well. Last week was good for him. He just needs two months to find himself." Adri's agent Gilmar Rinaldi admits that the AWOL Brazilian needs a short 'two-month' break. "I would be happier if Kaka stayed at Milan. He is a world-class player who would do well anywhere, but I would advise him not to leave Milan because they are a great club." Barca chairman Joan Laporta tells Kaka to reject Real Madrid and stay with Milan only 'because they are a great club'. And the winner is… "I just feel it's time that we went public on just what a nightmare he has been to deal with because I can honestly say that in all my time in football I have never worked with someone as unprofessional. Before this latest incident, Zaki had already been fined considerably more than the average person in Britain earns in a year." That's only a small part of Steve Bruce's Zak attack.
