CAIRO - When Radwa asked her husband to let her give a portion of her salary to her family, he firmly refused. And, although she did her best to convince him, he insisted on his refusal. Radwa, a teacher, was 34 years old and still unmarried, so she had to accept the first man who proposed to her a 45-year-old, poorly paid governmental employee. During their engagement, that lasted two months, Radwa had to agree to many things, that, if she were still in her twenties, she would never have agreed to. One of these things was having to share her salary with her husband, so that they can enjoy a reasonable standard of living. "He asked me to share my salary and then, when we actually got married, he ordered me to give him all my salary, in order to buy the things we need," Radwa told the Mail. "I know that a woman should help, but my income is twice his as I give private lessons, so I started to pay more and this makes me feel as if I'm the man in this relationship," she added tearfully. Because her only dream was to be a mother, she agreed to marry this man, whatever might happen. "I accepted having to pay him my salary every month," she said. But, after a while, Radwa noticed that her husband was saving a lot of their money. He only paid for the bare necessities, hesitating when she asked him for some money her money, in fact. "I then invented a story, telling him that my family need some money every month. I was astonished when he refused, as he said he was saving money to buy a bigger flat for when our baby arrives," she continued, pointing to her swollen belly. "I'm just waiting for our baby to be born, and then everything will change.” A housewife's salary has become a matter of great importance in Egyptian society. Some men think that it's a blessing if their wives go out to work, as the family income will be doubled, allowing them to lead a better life. Many men argue that women should share their income with their husbands. But this has caused many family disputes, ending, in some cases, in divorce. "My wife works eight hours per day and sometimes I come home very tired after a hard day's work, only to find that she hasn't cooked my dinner. “But I accept this because the whole situation in the country is bad and my wife should help me financially," says Ahmed Radi, a teacher. "Unquestionably, the husband is made responsible and obliged by the Sharia [Islamic Law] to cover the various household expenses, whether he's on a good salary or not. But if we relied only my salary, we would only eat bread for dinner; however, when my wife shares her money, we can meat with the bread," he explains. Unlike Radi, Maged, an accountant likes his wife to stay at home, rather than going out to work. "I like her to feel safe and avoid all the frustrations of the workplace. And thank God I earn enough for us to enjoy a good standard of living," says Maged. But still there are many women who are not like Maged's wife and won't share their salary; they want to marry a rich man so they can live a good life without any responsibilities. "Maged may be right, but I want to marry a man who can afford a good standard of living for both of us with his own money," says Eman el-Mahdi, an interior designer who earns more than LE2,000 (about $350) per month. Eman broke up with her fiancé because he told her that, in order to live well, she would have to share her salary with him. "I believe that the husband should bear all the marital expenses and not use any of his wife's money," adds Eman, whose opinion is, understandably, unacceptable to some men, especially those who are needy. Many employed women consider their salaries an ‘indispensable misfortune', especially those with low incomes. Such women find themselves compelled to share it with their husbands in one way or another, even though her entire salary is not sufficient to satisfy either his or her desires. Amina, a housewife, has the same name as character in the famous black-and-white movie Bein el-Qasrein, based on the novel by the legendary Naguib Mahfouz (1911-2006), who won the 1988 Nobel Prize for Literature. In the film, Amina is always subservient to her husband, but our Amina believes deeply in the proverb that says, ‘Your husband behaves according the way you get him used to behaving'. "He has to know exactly what his duties are. And you should not offer to help unless it is necessary. Don't ever let him feel that you must manage everything without his help," she advises. Islam gave women their full financial rights long before any other political or religious system. "Under Islam, a woman has equal rights to earn, own, spend and otherwise dispose of her property as she wishes, without interference by any male relative, be he a father, husband or guardian. “As long as she is an adult and of sound mind, she has the right to do what she likes with her money and property. These two conditions apply to males and females equally," says Abdullah Mohamed Raga'ai, an Islamic researcher. "Unfortunately, some communities impose a subordinate status on women, but this has nothing to do with Islam, although Islam is often said to endorse such subordination. The fact is that such situations are based on local culture and tradition. “A woman has the full right to her earnings and property. Even if she is rich, her husband must still support her and look after her, providing all she needs in terms of food, clothing and accommodation," he explains. "But if the husband is needy or suffering hardship, she must support him, though without being forced to do so. She should do this of her own free will.”
