OAKLAND: I was very fortunate to attend a talk by Doctor Izzeldin Abuelaish, a man nominated for the 2009 Nobel Peace Prize. The talk was held at a Kehilla Community Synagogue in Oakland, California, which organised this talk along with Americans for Peace Now and Brit Tzedek V'Shalom. I learned of the event from my local interfaith network and thought that I should not miss such a special opportunity to learn from this man. I am only beginning to learn about Gaza and the conflict, so I did not know much about Dr. Abuelaish. However, somehow I knew deep in my heart that I had to attend this talk. He spent years working to foster understanding between Israelis and Palestinians, and I wanted to learn about his point of view, as a Palestinian witnessing the tragedy of the conflict on a daily basis. What's more, an immense personal tragedy, the loss of his three daughters this January in an Israeli attack, did not stop him from continuing his work for peace. I volunteer in a grief-support non-profit organization, and was also interested how this extraordinary man deals with his grief. Dr. Abuelaish began his talk by showing us a few slides of his daughters, Bisan (20), Mayar (15) and Aya (13)-three beautiful girls and excellent students. He then showed pictures of his destroyed house, of the blood on the ceiling, of the body bags. Some people had tears in their eyes. He showed dreamlike photos from a couple of days before the girls' deaths when he took them to the beach. They had written their names in the sand, which the waves then erased. but, he said, it was not the waves that killed his three girls. It was the craziness of the persisting conflict. Dr. Abuelaish works as an obstetrician, specializing in the treatment of infertility. He lost his wife last September, and now, his three daughters. What was his response? He decided to start a foundation to provide health care and education to disadvantaged girls. About his decision, he said (I am paraphrasing the quotes here): It's time for women to become decision-makers. Educated women will lead. they will not bring about war and conflict. He spoke of his hope that his loss would be transformed into something useful, and that no other woman would have to die to influence the men. He kept returning to the topic of the importance of women. Maybe women are less selfish than men, he said. Many times during his talk the audience erupted in applause. He talked about his personal hardship, having grown up in the refugee camps of Gaza. But he managed to graduate from medical school, proving that great things are possible with work and determination. About the power of action to effect change, he said: willing is not enough; we must act. Whatever action, however small, makes a difference. Evil survives in this world because good people do nothing... It's time for people to lead the leaders, he said. Someone in the audience asked what American Jews should do. To this, Dr. Abuelaish responded: Before American Jews, they are human beings and when they defend other human beings, they are defending themselves. There was a question about how Dr. Abuelaish was coping with his grief. He placed great emphasis on his work and identity as a physician who needs to focus on the living, on the people who survived (his 17 year old daughter Shadar was seriously injured in the attack), and on his work for change. He said: you must stand up and do things in memory of people you have lost. He also said his faith was sustaining him. Another question was about Palestinians' right to return to former homes in Israel. Dr. Abuelaish said that now the situation is severe - people are dying; Gazans need to be rescued before other questions can be considered. He also said that it's not constructive to be "pro or "anti : by choosing a stance, one automatically alienates the other side. We must strive towards a solution that works for both sides, because all are human beings who deserve to live in peace and dignity. Someone asked how he manages to commute from Gaza to Israel. Dr. Abuelaish seemed amused by the query and said the questioner could come with him and try it out (I wish I were the one who asked!). His description was of a surreal process of jumping through hoops. Dr. Abuelaish needs to renew his work permit every three months and needs to report each entry to Israel three to four days in advance. To cross the border, he drives to the first checkpoint, where Israelis verify his papers. Then he has to walk one kilometer on a sandy road to an electronic gate with a camera (and no human being in sight). The door opens automatically. Then there are more gates; in total about 20 gates must be passed to enter Israel. Sometimes the soldiers get rude. He described an incident in which a solider asked him not only to take off his jacket, but also his shirt. The doctor refused, and the soldier refused to let him pass. The doctor asked to see an officer, who managed to settle the dispute. Can you imagine the hassle? It sounds like something from a post-apocalyptic movie that you don't want to continue watching because it's too depressing. Only it's happening for real, now. He spoke a lot of human dignity: we don't want to be controlled by remote control, he said, referring to that sci-fi gate in the desert. With all this hassle, humiliation, pain, loss and tragedy, I am deeply touched by this man's determination and humanity. I could not agree with him more when he said towards the end of the evening, "A small house can fit 100 friends, but not 2 enemies. We need big hearts and minds, he said. That, and a lot of work. Daniela Kantorova is a software architect in California, about to start graduate studies in clinical psychology. The article is distributed by the Common Ground News Service (CGNews) with permission from Mideast Youth.
