Sara Abu Bakr investigates Egypt's social and religious attitudes towards the right of those suffering mental handicap to marry and form a family When he imagines his 13-year-old son Omar's future, Mohamed Shaker can only see him doing what all other young men do. "I see him growing up, having a job and marrying," Shaker told Al-Ahram Weekly. While Omar suffers from mental handicap, "it's his right to have a family and children of his own," his father said. In 2005, a fatwa (religious edict) was issued by Al-Azhar allowing people suffering from "limited mental handicap" to marry and have children. The fatwa came as a response to a question posed by Mohamed Salah, head of the "Last Wahdak" (You Are Not Alone) Foundation for the handicapped. "I sent a question to the Mufti Ali Gomaa and two months later I received the response," explained Salah, which was that "the mentally handicapped can indeed marry." Three years on, Egypt has witnessed a dramatic increase in the number of people with special needs marrying. The Last Wahdak Foundation aims at providing assistance and services to the mentally and physically handicapped in one of Cairo's poorer areas, Matariya. "We currently serve 100 handicapped residing in the neighbourhood," Salah, himself polio- afflicted, told the Weekly. "So the question [related to a natural extension] of the needs of the mentally handicapped, many of whom want to get married. After all, it's a natural instinct." Shaker talks of Omar fondly: "He is a gift from God, a part of the family." Omar was born a normal child, but within 15 days of life his mental health had rapidly deteriorated. His parents later found out that he suffered from mental deficiency caused by an elusive gene, not usually found on the human genetic map. Omar's parents were barely able to describe the despair they felt after finding out that the youngest of their three boys would suffer from mental disability. "You feel a darkness surround you, as if there is no way out, forgetting that there is a God who takes care of his worshippers," said Shaker. Omar has the mental capacity of the average 10-year-old. Being on the verge of adolescence, his parents face the regular problems associated with his age, together with the difficulties brought on by his condition. "He is like any teenager: he hogs the mirror, spends a lot of time choosing his clothes, and has an eye for pretty ladies," explained Shaker with a smile. And like any teenager, his parents enrol him in different sports and activities so he has a constructive outlet for all his pent-up energy. "We treat him as we do his brothers, as normally as possible," Omar's father said. But the major difference between Omar and any other teenager is "control. I have to keep an eye on him all the time," said Shaker. This raises the question as to whether Omar will some day be able to take full care of himself and his wife. But Shaker actually looks forward to the day his son marries. "As he gets older, his mind develops more and more, so by the time he is in his 20s, I am sure he will be more than able to marry" and bear the associated responsibilities, he said. However, the fact that Omar is growing up in such a loving environment may render his case exceptional rather than reflective of the rule. "The problem here in Egypt is the lack of awareness and regulations to assist handicapped people," said Ashraf Amin, creator of the Kids Fun Team, a foundation consisting of a group of 53 volunteers, who perform educational and entertaining sketches targeting mentally handicapped people. "There are still people who believe that having a mentally challenged child is a divine punishment," he added. "The public still do not know how to treat this segment of society, so how can we expect them to marry?" Public awareness seems to be the key obstacle identified by all who are in regular contact with mentally handicapped people. Amal Atta, head of "Basmat Amal" Day Care centre for children suffering from mental disability, described the evolution of the Egyptian public's attitude. "Parents used to be ashamed of their children, hiding them and refusing to believe in their potential," Atta told the Weekly. While attitudes have changed in the past 10 years, she believes that society has yet to accept as normal the idea that the mentally handicapped can and should, if they wish to, marry. For one, she is against it. "I am not personally in favour of their marrying; however there is a fatwa that allows it," Atta said. Her major concern relates to whether the mentally handicapped are able to adequately take on the responsibility of a home and family. Still the fatwa is unclear on many things. The key question relates to: how "limited" should mental handicap be, in the view of Al-Azhar, for marriage to be sanctioned? And a more important question is posed by Salah. "Since there is a guardian for every handicapped individual, can this guardian divorce him from his spouse without his consent?" "The word 'limited' implies a certain degree of consciousness," said Sheikh Emad Effat of Dar Al-Iftaa (the Islamic research academy that issues what most scholars agree are binding fatwas ). "One cannot be a total invalid and marry, or else that means he/she is closer to being a patient than a spouse." As for the question regarding guardianship and divorce, Effat assured that any divorce claim has to be presented to a judge by a guardian. "Only a judge can divorce a man from his wife." But what if the guardian is fraudulent? How can one be sure that any action, whether marriage, divorce or inheritance, is truly in the favour of the mentally handicapped individual in question? "Abroad, there is more than one guardian per individual," said Salah. "So if one is busy or corrupt, the others are there to protect him." Others, including Amin, believe that the protection of the mentally handicapped lies not only with guardians and their society, but also with the government. "Here, the rights of the handicapped are not upheld by the government," Amin told the Weekly. "We have laws that supposedly protect them, but nobody implements them." But in spite of the difficulties and the overall lack of protection, the situation of the handicapped in Egypt is not all bad. Listening to Shaker, it would be wrong to imagine that this man is anything but content with his life. "These children are angels that serve on Earth instead of the heavens, and as they grow they also need love," he said. When asked who he thought could be suitable to marry Omar when he's older, Shaker said he didn't mind. "I want him to either marry someone of the same IQ, or a healthy woman," he said. "I have seen it work out before with older couples, but either way the marriage needs to be based on love and not pity." He added that all people, regardless of their mental abilities, understand love and have the need to connect, but "there need to be regulations on marriage to ensure it works in the best interest of the handicapped individual, and is not just being used to protect the parents' inheritance or to ensure the continuation of lineage." Meanwhile, close to the end of the working day at the offices of the Last Wahdak Foundation, a slightly handicapped young woman came to visit. She said she wanted to marry, but added that there are "many things she has to learn like cooking and cleaning" before tying the knot. And while one gets the impression that she does not yet fully understand the concept of matrimony, judging from her smiles and jokes with the foundation staff, she certainly understands what love is.
