In the wake of the revolution, the unrest and the parliamentary elections, there may be something to be said for understanding and mutual listening, says Dena Rashed At times of crisis, people come together, but getting closer to each other can also mean finding out more about each other. Unleashing fears, voicing demands, and sticking to opinions are all symptoms of people finding their way to claiming their rights and duties and to a true democracy. Yet, with the many voices that have been unleashed since the 25 January Revolution, demands for change have got louder and louder and with them fears of instability. Friendships have been made and others have been lost, with conflicting opinions sometimes meaning conflicting relationships. Islamists, liberals and moderates have all got used to speaking out, as have those in favour of the activists in Cairo's Tahrir Square and those against them. Christians and Muslims have been getting used to voicing their opinions, some loudly, others less so, and in the process agreeing on even a few items has sometimes become a difficult matter. Tired of such behaviour and worried about how Egyptians could be encouraged to listen to each other better, Hisham El-Gamal, a professional trainer, has made a 15-minute video to tackle the issue. His calm and thoughtful demeanour makes it easy to watch him present the video and explain the idea behind it. It can be viewed online at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bajg0bXKw4I&feature=youtube_gdata_player. In fact, a positive surge fills one on watching the video, with viewers realising that as they experience history in the making in their country conflicts between different factions should be put aside in the interests of the nation as a whole. This is what the video tackles, based on a workshop originally conducted by El-Gamal. In the workshop, El-Gamal tried to capture the idea behind a tagrobt tawasol, or "trial of communication" for Egyptian voices, inviting a Christian, a member of the Muslim Brotherhood, a Salafi, a liberal Muslim woman, a socialist, a moderate Christian woman, a communist, a revolutionary affiliated to the 6 April Movement, and a woman calling for stability to sit down together and talk. The technique is one that El-Gamal has used many times in his work in relationship coaching. "The tools can be applied to the relationship between a husband and wife, between employees, or simply between people wanting to create a more healthy relationship. It makes people more comfortable, helps them see things differently, and makes them less apprehensive of what is happening around them." The video starts with an idea, but, as El-Gamal stresses, it doesn't offer a solution, instead only shedding light on various problems. "The technique helps us to listen, to find out what we have in common, and it helps us to understand where we are coming from," he says. El-Gamal tackles two phenomena in the video, the first for those who went to Tahrir Square during the revolution, "dreaming of a different Egypt, where differences are dissolved and a dream of unity materialises," and the second that of the divisions, manifested in the different political groups and coalitions, that came in its wake. In order for the technique to work, El-Gamal says, those taking part have to speak honestly, even though he admits that the presence of the camera can also take away some spontaneity. "Our voices may sound odd when we all speak together," he adds, "but things can still come aright. That's why I call the workshop the 'everyone lives in their own small Egypt' workshop." How those participating saw the revolution and how they saw the use of religion after it was the real ice-breaker, he adds. For both Muslims and Christians, El-Gamal notes, "the dreams are very similar. In the video of the workshop, you see Muslims and Christians saying that they believe God will guide them, referring either to the Quran or the Bible." From Salafi to secularist, people share a dream of an Egypt that is strong economically and politically, where the law is applied, and where poverty has been eradicated. The second and third parts of the video focus on differences, though rehearsing these can help to lift negativity and allow people to draw closer to each other. "You don't expect certain outcomes," El-Gamal comments. "You simply reveal the system to itself, as the whole idea behind coaching is to guide people into trying out different techniques. What is important is for people to be 'coachable' in the first place -- in other words, to be willing to try the experiment." About the group, El-Gamal says that all its members had strong beliefs, but that all of them were willing to listen to each other. "It was surprising at first to hear the Salafi saying that he saw the secularist as a hardliner, but things like that allow you to understand things differently." The member of the group who just wanted stability and her counterpart the revolutionary also criticise each other. One says that the revolutionaries don't realise that people are tired of all the upheaval, while the revolutionary says that people have to commit themselves to what she sees as a struggle for their rights. In El-Gamal's view, each person eventually admits her own flaws and the element of truth in the other's opinions. It is right that people should now be contesting the elections, El-Gamal says, but afterwards they should try to get back to the idea of a single, bigger Egypt. The idea of a "small Egypt" refers to one's own place and one's own set of ideas, he says, whereas the goal should be to try to see the "bigger Egypt" that contains these things within it. The most interesting part of the video comes when everyone is encouraged to leave his or her own "small Egypt" and switch places with another person. The Christian speaks for the Islamist, saying that the Islamists are always being accused of being hardliners, while adding that they are well organised and goal-oriented. Speaking for the "small Egypt" of the Christian, the communist complains of being accused of having a "foreign agenda, even though Egypt has been my country for 2,000 years". The Muslim Brotherhood member switches roles and speaks as a Christian, saying that "when I hear the slogan, 'raise your head high because you are Muslim,' I feel it is a message against me and one that claims I don't have a place in Egypt." An important part of the experiment comes when El-Gamal asks the participants to speak their minds and then asks them to speak in the name of Egypt as a whole. "People realise how sectarian their discourse can sound when they try to leave their parties or factions behind and speak in the name of the country as a whole," he comments. "It is then that they realise they can speak a double discourse." When the revolutionary speaks in the name of Egypt, he asks us not "to be scared of freedom," while the Christian exhorts Egyptians to "do your duty before asking for your rights". The member of the Muslim Brotherhood asks us not to accuse one other of treason and to find common points rather than differences. As for the Salafi, he says that "no one can stay in power against the people's will: all Egyptians know what the protests in Tahrir Square meant from this point of view." In the coaching, it appears that all the different groups are finally listening to each other, but in real life it might not be that easy. Yet, El-Gamal remains optimistic. "We will get there," he says. "Breaking down imaginary boundaries is what we should aim for." "Many people have already left their comfort zones, and we can no longer play the role of victims of the former regime. Since we haven't practised democracy recently, it is only to be expected that we will find it difficult. But we have the seeds of civilisation within us."
