Restaurant review: Good enough to gobble down Hubbly Bubbly is at the heart of an emerging phenomenon of alternative eateries, remonstrates Gamal Nkrumah We take a leisurely stroll down one of those tree-lined boulevards of Degla, Maadi. We stop at Hubbly Bubbly and I dive in for nothing but its air conditioning. We gulp down some iced sparkling water to quench our thirst. It is one of those heatwaves towards the end of an Indian summer. One can easily, I suppose, fry an egg on top of a car bonnet. My gorgeous companion's roommate texted a second time to say she was still stuck in traffic on the Corniche not far from the main entrance of Maadi. "Do we wait for her or choose what we're going to eat?" I was being facetious, and my companion did not particularly appreciate my saucy sense of humour. No sooner had her friend sat down in a huff and a puff than I called the waiter over and ordered three iced teas and the � la carte menu. While it was tricky to find space on the table for all three of us, with our thirst quenched we got down to the business of eating. The Hubbly Bubbly kind of menu works well at lunchtime, along the lines of the Sunday brunch at the Marriott. But Hubbly Bubbly as the name suggests is not my top of the range American bistro in upmarket Maadi. It does not specify so, but at a glance one could detect that the Hubbly Bubbly menu was divided into cold, hot and warm dishes. I instinctively squirm suspiciously when I ascertain the identity of the warm dishes. They are invariably inedible, the ones to avoid at all costs. The hot dishes are the hottest. My companion, and she's the hottest cutie, instantly yielded her insights into not just how hot dishes can appeal to all the senses but also why they often do outshine the lukewarm and cold dishes. The poor waiter looked somewhat taken aback when my platinum blonde pointedly told him that she prefers something hot. This is not the sort of restaurant where you can order a chicken breast with mango chutney and macadamia nuts. The biggest difference between my fair companion and myself is that she prefers a dish without too much protein, preferably without animal protein to be precise, and I am a bitter-ender carnivore. Still, I was in no mood for grilled inexpensive cuts of red meat. Plus I had one eye on my pocketbook and the other on my watch. It is not, after all, every lamb that is destined to make a decent chop. I learnt a humbling amount from my two lady companions, not all of it I hasten to add especially scientific. But convincing all the same. They are right that red meat is at a crossroads between authentic organic, that is Sudanese and Ethiopian beef in Egypt, and the over-manipulated American, Argentinean and Australian cuts that lack succulence and flavour. The confused waiter looked aghast at the menu and scowled in response to the entreaties of the two ladies at my table. But 20 minutes later he arrived with an array of exciting flavours. The problem with the platinum blonde is that she makes a maddening habit of choosing two first courses rather than the more appropriate first and main course and insists that everyone shares her food with her because she cannot possible eat it all. "Most of the first courses are cold, or worse lukewarm, and invariably half the size of the main course," she protested. "That is not the only problem," she squealed. "You can have too much cholesterol," she hissed breathlessly. "And if I was one of those people who couldn't give a toss about such things I would certainly go for double cream than some mean-spirited slab of meat with an abominably high fat content," she banged the table with her trembling ethereal hands and hurt her wrist. "Double cream is cold, and sizzling crackling is hot," I protested pitilessly much to the platinum blonde's consternation. "The idea of a T-bone steak with a bit of fat on it might be befitting now that we are fast approaching November and the nights are drawing in," I countered provocatively. "And, just think of roasted quality red meat when cooked to perfection with much of the fat rendered out and the seasoned flesh is delicately basted." I felt I had outwitted the health conscious ladies. Still I didn't wholly clear their confusion. They adore freedom from disease details and sometimes it overwhelms. However, we all found it difficult to unravel the skeins of the plot of the Hubbly Bubbly. Hubbly Bubbly Maadi
