Restaurant review: Foul play It's the football, not the food Fancy gulping down pasta drenched in the richest sauces while watching the most bizarre penalties ever witnessed? If so, the Italian Goal restaurant must be your favourite haunt. But let it be stated from the outset: none of the dishes served at this eatery are of the calibre which any Italian mamma would be proud of. The food is not particularly nourishing and it is exceptionally rich in calories. If you don't care too much for a calorific overdose, and your arteries are not especially clogged, then eat on. The tasteless decor may be lacklustre but it is the sheer thrill of a great game that makes Goal a wonderful reward for some of its clients. Goal has several strategically positioned television sets so that clients can watch their favourite teams in action. The most memorable fixture of Goal was the overpowering aroma of shisha, the traditional hubble bubble. The Goal experience is not just painful for those who are not particularly passionate about soccer, but excruciatingly painful for those who do not care about shisha and not very imaginative pastas. If you don't enjoy smoking shisha, as opposed to sampling good food, this restaurant is not for you. But can one enjoy the Goal experience without soccer or shisha ? That's what I set out to discover. On my return to the restaurant after Eid Al-Fitr, I watched as Ahli thrashed Tunisia's Etoile du Sahel 3- 0 to win the African Champions League. The Red Devils were at their damnest best. Mohamed Barakat, Osama Hosni and Mohamed Abu Treika wowed their fans. The soccer-oriented Zamalek eatery was an Ahli fan that day. Mercifully, my companion and I went early to secure a seat, and we barely did. Our tiny table for two was strategically positioned. I had a television across from me, and my companion, too, looked straight ahead at another even bigger screen. We had a non- descript fruit juice each and glanced quickly at the menu. My by now famished companion went for pizza dinamita, based on a fiery Sicilian recipe. I opted instead for the feisty fettuccine al salmone -- the sauce was oozing cream and butter. I fished in vain for the salmon even though, I must confess, there was a hint of seafood in the creamy sauce. Laced with shreds of something fishy and chopped parsley, this is ostensibly one of the best pastas on offer at Goal. A gush of fishy steam was released as the waiter approached our table. But, I suspect that it was the whiff of an ever-so-slightly-bland fish, most certainly not smoked salmon. The food, though, was presented with welcome simplicity, and no unnecessary frills. Goal boasts a customer list that includes expatriates and well-heeled Zamalek residents. But, Goal is not a place for the sophisticated eater. The dishes on offer perhaps cater for those who burn calories fast. Moreover, I suspect the Goal delicacies are on the whole foods of minimal nutritional value. The outrageously rich sauces are designed, I fear, to render poor-quality ingredients more palatable. I have dwelt perhaps too long on the questionable, less-than-perfect food, rather than the clubby atmosphere of Goal. There is no doubt that the emergence of these relaxed but not so comfortable places has changed the face of Cairo the past decade. Initially, of course, combining food and sports provided a new lease of life for many well-located but sorely neglected eateries such as Goal. But as in so many instances, food is not first at such places. In the final analysis, the emergence of eateries like Goal are unlikely to transform Cairo's culinary landscape. The Italian Goal 13 Abul-Feda Street Tel: 738 1024 Reviewed order: LE150 By Gamal Nkrumah