Restaurant review: The extant menu Sharp angles predominate at Crave, the sleek coffee shop designed to replace Zamalek's Coffeology and bury its shame. Necessarily, it overlooks the street and the deli across the mall in order to show off its patrons. Inside, it's clear the management received the e-mail describing the city's current epitome-of-cool colour scheme and applied it with diligence. Austere tables of dark wood, eggshell walls and beige drapes wrap around a commanding bar with utensils, namely spoons and forks, parading around its upper rim. The deeper, more dining-oriented end of the establishment is separated from the bar by glass panes depicting sandy brown silhouettes of dancers; a ballerina in her tutu and a flamenco dancer swirling the ruffles of her dress strike an endless pose as you smirk at your menu. Here the bright sharply-focussed ceiling lights illuminate the beige suede tablecloths, and azure leather couches, along with an abundance of cushions to relieve the tense backs and bums of the young trendsetting clientele that have come to frequent this place in droves, stretch along the walls. Like some frustrated activist determined to make a difference the menu here is at once commendable and amusing. The salads are a clear expression of the initiative taken to bring novelty to fruition. Chicken pesto, quattro fromaggio, with emmental, blue cheese and red cheddar, and chicken Hawaiian with apple and pineapple are but a few examples. My companion and I forsake nutrition in favour of the oil-heavy starters platter, featuring a little bit of everything. The fish fingers are chunky and good (and not too greasy), and the chicken strips are dryer but that's where your choice of tomato-based cocktail sauce, sweet mustard, or blue cheese dressing comes in handy. The fried mushrooms stuffed with jalapeno cheese are best given a miss and the fried mozzarella, as my companion aptly put it, "is what it is." For a minute my companion and I consider that the slick black-clad waiters may have perfected an efficient but unobtrusive demeanor (the poor guys, like indoor plumbing they're only noticeable when doing a bad job), only to sorely find the specimen delegated to our table offending us with his flatulently smug smile as he interprets the menu's items to the philistines before him. He takes our order and makes a big production out of setting down the utensils and napkins. This routine precedes every course with the same slow methodical precision. Just as the relentless sitar music finally gives way to the most generic of upbeat pop selections our main courses arrive. The fillet in three sauces, comprised of baby strip steaks propped up on biscuits, and awash in pepper sauce, a lighter mushroom sauce and creamy gorgonzola, was well executed despite the burnt-crispy edges. The sea bass in lemon butter sauce however was gobbled up greedily by my companion before I could sample it. "Not bad. Not great," was the sum of his pithy commentary, and concurred with the word-on-the-street about the general state of the food here. The runners up in the whet- your-appetite and pique-your-interest departments were the veal ribs with rosemary sauce and chicken in artichoke sauce, respectively. Despite a competing reputable sweet potato pie with cinnamon and caramel and what appears to be a ubiquitous date tart my companion opts for an Oreo shake -- also available in mocha and espresso -- for dessert. It's a smooth slice of heaven and you can actually taste the Oreo, or at least the local Borio. At this point word is out that the place has been under the Al-Ahram Weekly 's scrutiny, and we're treated to a piping hot volcanic chocolate soufflé flanked by a scoop of vanilla ice cream with caramel sauce. The presentation, as with almost all the selections here, is flawless. I'm excited by, and grateful for, my first freebie as a culinary columnist, and dig in heartily. Crave 22a Dr Taha Hussein St, Zamalek. Phone: 736 3870. Opening hours: 9am--1am daily. Dinner and dessert for two, LE200. By Waleed Marzouk
