“So have you heard about the church shooting? Isn't it sad? Who do you think is behind it?” I poured out my questions to a friend, who surprisingly seemed to have no clue what I was talking about. “What shooting? When,” she asked. I was nothing short of speechless that in this day and age, and with all sorts of online resources at hand, someone could still be in the dark about current events. However, it wasn't because of a lack of resources that 30-year-old Rasha Hussein was in the dark. Instead, it was part of a choice to keep herself at a distance from the misfortunes of everyday life. “People are just as happy as they make up their minds to be,” said US president Abraham Lincoln. “Many people are actually foolish enough to manufacture their own unhappiness,” said my friend. “As if the problems created by life itself, over which we have little or no control, were not enough to deal with,” she added. “Tragedies happen everyday, but I try to block them out and not allow them to get to me,” she explained. “Because the words we speak and those we hear have a direct effect on our thoughts, and if we only allow positive thoughts into our minds we will end up with positive ideas and attitudes,” she added. As some psychologists say, you can make the mind give you anything you want, provided you first give that thing to your mind. Some years ago Hussein decided to try to keep herself away from disturbing news and information and instead to focus on what was good in the world. She spent two years in India and Nepal learning about different types of meditation and soul-healing techniques, and in the process she was able to find her own enlightenment through practising Vipassana meditation. “How we think we feel has a tremendous effect on how we actually feel,” Hussein said. In other words, if your mind tells you that you are tired or frustrated, your body will accept that as a fact and act accordingly. On the other hand, if your mind tells you that you have the energy to do whatever you want, your nerves and muscles will accept that as a fact and keep on working. “When the world pushes you to your knees, you are in the perfect position to pray,” said the Muslim mystic Galaleddin Al-Rumi. As if in echo of Rumi's words, 32-year-old social researcher Fatma Mounir says that attitudes are more important than facts. “Any fact facing us, no matter how difficult or seemingly impossible, is not as important as our attitude towards it,” she explained. In everyday life, situations can occur where we allow certain facts to overwhelm us mentally and thus defeat us before we do anything about them. “But if you have faith in God and yourself along with the right attitude,” explained Mounir, “you will find that you have within you the power needed to overcome all kinds of obstacles that life might throw in your way.” According to Hussein, depending on the kind of words we use and the tone in which we use them we can talk ourselves into either positive or negative results. When you are engaged in a group conversation and it takes an upsetting or negative direction, why not try Mounir's advice about injecting positive ideas into the discussion? “A morning conversation filled with arguments and negative remarks with your spouse or co-worker can set the tone for the whole day,” she explained. “But if you start the day with a happy and peaceful attitude then your days will most certainly be more fulfilling.” Science seems to support such views. One study conducted last September on 607 patients with heart disease in a hospital in Denmark showed that patients whose moods were more positive were 58 per cent more likely to live at least another five years than those whose moods were not. The results of the study, published in the Journal of the American Heart Association, are very clear: positive thinking really is important for a healthy life. “But it's not like you can go to your doctor and ask him to write you a prescription for positivity,” Mounir added. However, you could choose to believe in yourself more and in your abilities and to start doing so right this moment. “Sit down with a pen and paper and write a list of all the things that are going for you, rather than against you, in life,” Mounir advises. Think about your health, your family, your career and your friends, for example. “These are your real assets in life,” she added. “I don't know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everyone,” said the US actor Bill Cosby, sentiments that seem to be echoed by Mounir. One of the most important things that you can do, she adds, is to believe that you have the power within you to change. “Some people don't believe that they have it in them to be what they want to be,” Mounir explained, and as a result “they try to make themselves be content with what they have rather than what they could have,” she added. Hussein agreed. “At any given point in your life, you could stop and choose to start all over again simply by changing your point of view and mental attitude towards life,” she said. Always remember that other people, regardless of how confident they look or act, are perhaps as scared and confused as you are. “Always keep in mind that if I succeed today, that's fine; but if I don't, there is always tomorrow,” Mounir says. According to the 19th-century British writer Thomas Carlyle, “silence is the element in which great things fashion themselves.” Mounir, too, blames the lack of inner peace and positivity in today's life on the effects that too much noise can have on our nervous systems. Scientists have shown that excessive noise in the places where we live or work can reduce our efficiency to a noticeable degree. Apparently, the human mental and physical mechanism never completely adjusts to noise. “No matter how familiar the sound of the air-conditioning or of cars' horns may be, no sound passes unheard by the subconscious,” explains Mounir. “In fact, scientists have shown that hearing noise during sleep can cause muscular movements that detract from the rest our bodies need,” she added. Mounir's advice is for everyone to practise what she describes as the “healing art of silence”. This won't necessarily be easy at first, she adds, “so start with five or 10 minutes a day, and then gradually increase it. Choose the most comfortable corner of your house or garden and then just sit doing absolutely nothing.” Don't think, don't talk and don't read. “Simply try to find inner peace through silence. Silence will allow you to replace negative thoughts with positive ones and thus start having positive results,” she added. Another piece of advice offered by Hussein is for people to practise suggestive articulation. “Words have power,” she explained. If you utter panicky words then your brain will take the hint and start sending signals for your body to panic. “But if you start your day by repeating peaceful words, out loud, your mind will react in a peaceful manner,” she added. Words like “serenity” and “tranquility” have healing powers, according to Hussein. Choose your word, “picturise it as you say it and repeat it several times.” “Do this for a couple of days, and you will find that these words will work upon your mind like a healing medicine,” she explained. What you focus your attention on repeatedly can end up being your reality, she said. “All you have to do is choose to feel good. It's that simple.” So, the next time you find yourself feeling emotionally drained about a certain issue, take a step back and try to see things from a different and more positive perspective. After all, you attract what you allow your mind to dwell on, so take responsibility for your happiness and start thinking positively. “I am the greatest; I said that even before I knew I was,” said US boxer Mohamed Ali in what might almost be a demonstration of Hussein's views.
