Dear Aunt Bahia, Isn't it weird to love someone who doesn't belong to you?! I'm a lady in her twenties. My heart yearns for a man in his thirties whom I know, but the problem is that he isn't mine. Although I know that he loves me, he has a wedding ring on his left hand and it really hurts me. I can't describe how I feel. Deep down, I know that I must end this illicit relationship, but I love him and feel that I can't escape from the web he has spun. I don't know what to ask you. Please help. A Tortured Lady
Dear Tortured Lady, For him you are like a piece of chewing gum, whose sweet taste he enjoys. You are here and available, “so let's enjoy our time together", he reasons. But gum that is chewed too much loses its taste. Are you happy being a piece of gum for someone else's enjoyment? Remember that the only man who deserves you is one who can put his wedding ring on your left hand. If you want any other man, you will be the loser. Aunt Bahia
Is it wrong to remarry?
Dear Aunt Bahia, My elder son hates me. I'm a mother of three children, whose father divorced me three years ago. For the next two years, I thought only about my children, forgetting that I'm a woman who wants to love and be loved. A year ago, I bumped into an old friend of mine who'd been living abroad and had just come back to Cairo. We had a few conversations together and then he revealed his feelings for me, asking to marry me, although I already have three children. When I told my elder son, aged 14, he started shouting at me and left the house to go and stay with his friend. I have tried to persuade him to come home but he refuses. Shall I leave the new man? Is it wrong to remarry? Please advise me. A Depressed Mother
Dear Depressed Mother, It's your right to remarry; in fact, you should. Please don't leave your husband-to-be. Don't worry about your son. Teenagers always behave like this; they get furious and act in haste. I suggest that your man should try to befriend your son. Don't be sad, everything will be OK. Soon your son will understand and come back wanting a big hug. Write to me again. Aunt Bahia I'm not her first man
Dear Aunt Bahia, I'm an unmarried man, aged 32. A few months ago, I met a young lady, a friend of my friends. I know I shouldn't have rushed, but we soon became intimate. It simply happened like that. She is 'free'. What I mean to say is that she has lived part of her life in Europe and her culture is a bit different from mine. When our relationship developed into love, she told me that I wasn't the first man in her life, as she'd been intimate with two other men previously. The problem is that I can't forget this every time I touch her. I know it's silly, but I keep on wondering whether I am better than her previous two men. Or does she think my body is less impressive than theirs? I know deep in my heart that I won't be able to marry her because, like any Oriental man, I want to be the first man in my wife's life. But I love her, so what should I do? An Oriental Man Dear Oriental Man, Let me first of all disagree with you for calling yourself an ‘Oriental Man', because Oriental men shouldn't engage in intimate relationships before tying the knot. You've just said that an Oriental man wants to be the first man in his wife's life, so why shouldn't an Oriental man be the first man in his wife's life too?! Please don't give yourself a right that you have deprived someone else of. And if you say that you won't marry this lady, what do you expect me to tell you? What kind of advice do you want? Would you like to know, for example, how you can develop your body to make her feel more satisfied? This is a fake relation that must end today, not tomorrow. Aunt Bahia Dear readers, don't hesitate to share your problems with us on: [email protected] All your queries will be dealt with in the strictest confidentiality. Find us on Facebook: The Egyptian Gazette Newspaper.