This is very strange. Now I see what they mean about Global Worming… it means that entire globe has worms, then these creatures start crawling and… I think it would be better to talk about Global Warming. Definitely feeling warm is better than having warms, at least sometimes. I remember I once told a girl that talking to her makes my heart warm inside and that was the last time we spoke! Maybe she wasn't really a summer person or something. This is not the Lonely Hearts column so let's get back to business. Today is the 7th of May… just because you are reading this article three days after it was written doesn't change the fact that today is Saturday! Regardless of the day, it is the month of May, which is usually hot in Egypt… but still the weather is quite cold at night. I was out a while ago and my friends and I were surprised how cold we felt wearing T-shirts. I've noticed that over the past years winter has been lingering on for a couple of extra months and summer does the same thing as well. I remember that in 2004 or 2005, October was really cold and then a heat wave struck the nation in December and lasted for a couple of weeks! At that time, I was working as a radio DJ, presenter and producer, which is a job that lasted for about three minutes or something. I played The Lovin' Spoonful's “Summer in the City” because it felt like summer in December. This of course reminds me of the song “Winter in July”. That's a very strange title for a lovely number by a British act called Bomb the Bass, which basically consisted of Tim Simenon. This man started out as a DJ, then became a producer as well and had some hits using the name Bomb the Bass. Among these chart invaders were numbers that featured guest vocalists and one of these tracks was a cover of Dionne Warwick's hit “I Say A Little Prayer”. The fact that this song was made famous by Aretha Franklin has nothing to do with what we are talking about. Also the fact that Bomb the Bass version was quite pathetic is irrelevant. What was I going to say next… Yes, I remembered… American girl group Exposé explained the reason behind this unstable weather in a number one hit song titled “Seasons Change”. Thank you very much girls for the valuable information. I never knew that. I always thought that each year has only one season. This is what they told us in the geography class… or was it geometry? Let's go for geography. If we were to leave Exposé in the States and cross the Atlantic Ocean where will we go? We can go to City Stars to have dinner and maybe watch a movie and we better… we better finish this article before I lose my mind. Crossing the Atlantic might lead us to the UK, where we can find Kate Bush. She is very concerned about the weather and has been very busy “Cloudbusting”. Don't look at me! It was Kate who said “I'm cloudbusting daddy”. Why does this phrase remind me of movies with crazy scientists in them? Maybe because I was watching Christopher Lloyd in “Back to the Future”. With such unstable weather we should stay in the house… but then this going to be a very Crowded House, which is also the name of a band that consists of artists from both New Zealand and Australia. This band had a hit with a song that has a strange title. For no apparent reason it is called “Weather With You”! My favourite bar is the one that says “Julius Caesar and the Roman Empire couldn't conquer the blue sky”. I'm confused. Let's go back to the UK and one of its stereotypical girl groups, B*witched. Why did these four girls bother form a group? Maybe they did it out of generosity and wanting to share what they had with the world. It seems they were bored and wanted to bore us to death. That's sharing alright. Shamelessly they wanted to “Blame it on the Weatherman” and tried to justify it by saying “it's just one more day, no-one said there would be rain again, won't blame it on myself, I'll blame it on the weatherman”. Aaah, so they were talking about the weather and not about their non-existing talents. OK then. Two of these girls are twins. They are Edele and Keavy Lynch and surprise, surprise their brother is Shane of boy band Boyzone. Are we still in the UK? I don't know. It's quite dark here. But if we are, we might bump into one Michael Barratt, who is better known as Shakin' Stevens. This man re-popularised the 1950s rock n' roll in the 1980s and being a huge rock n' roll fan myself, I have to admit that I do like him. Maybe I should put that in the past tense and say I used to like him until I found out that he's a werewolf. You know these creatures transform from human beings to wolves when the moon is full. Our Shaky (yes that was the nickname for his stage name, if it makes any sense) was determined to eat the heart of the woman he loved. He made it clear in a song by serenading her with the words “just like the changing of the season, give me your heart tonight”. So Shaky transforms every season and not with the full moon. He insisted on having her heart and went on singing “oh, oh, oh give me your heart tonight”. Did you guess the song's title? You are right again, it is “Give Me Your Heart Tonight”. Making the right guess makes you the winner of this week's competition and the prize is… TA DA… YOUR FREEDOM. Yes you are free to go now. This is the end of the article. Send me your surfboards and raincoats to: [email protected]
