RAMALLAH: Humans strive to reach an impossible level of perfection. Though perfection has never existed and has never been reached, we still strive to reach this surreal state of mind that desperately drive us to unconsciously seek irrational–sometimes even extreme–measures only to preserve an illusory image of perfection. From this standing, a hearing disability is a distortion of that perfection, widely perceived as an intellectual impediment to normal interaction with other less “flawed" individuals. Are we really so conditioned by capitalism, by bourgeois values that amount to sheer propaganda? Is social cordiality inherently knotted to predefined and publicly approved physical characteristics? Why does fear of the unknown govern our interactions with one another? For so many years my hearing loss was the central issue in my life, as if my whole existence meant nothing but this particular lapse in the construction of my senses. I came to realize the importance of verbal communication at a very early age when I sensed the drastic consequences of my hearing impairment. This realization made me feel disabled. I became socially distant, aloof, withdrawn. This was reinforced by the thought that I couldn't be understood by the people around me, or that I will be the object of jokes and pity from my peers. But I don't want to be the punch line of anyone's jokes; nor do I want pity. Growing up with a progressive hearing loss was difficult—especially during puberty. I constantly struggled to find a place in a group and was eager to be heard, to be understood. But due to my lack of advanced communication skills I felt like a social deviant, unable to keep up with my peers. Under this pressure I was discouraged to be socially active. I suffered depression and anxiety, both of which affected my day-to-day life. Contemplating my past experiences I realized that part of my frustration was born from my shyness to approach others about my problem. Indeed, I was ashamed and embarrassed. I certainly missed out on a lot! I was often excluded from social activities, and people incessantly questioned my intellectual capacity. Being deaf or hard of hearing, however, is not the proper criterion to measure intelligence. No, it is simply another obstacle in the flow of communication. Yet, discrimination against us is rampant, and we often feel more comfortable regressing from the social scene. We grow up engaged in a constant battle against fast pace communication. Worst of all, we begin to question ourselves, to doubt our own intellect, compromising our psychological integrity. Depression, social anxiety, loneliness, and cognitive and behavioral complications often follow. Society ought to learn how to approach those of us affected by hearing loss or deafness, rather than adding to outdated to stigmas that complicate our lives. The role of family and other caregivers is crucial for the wellbeing of individuals suffering from hearing disability. Denial is a useless barrier to accepting the reality. In my own experience, accepting the disability and finding ways to accommodate has enriched my personality and provided me the courage to not only approach people but also make fun of the disability. Today I am proud of my big protrusive hearing aids. Rather than evoking feelings of shame, they have become a deep well of empowerment. A deaf person should not be ashamed to sign in public, should not fear being judged for what he cannot control. Children with hearing loss problem should not grow up under the constant fear of being judged, and parents all too often coerce them into denial. Parents need to be aware that denial only damages their children's feeling of self-worth. For example, many parents approach hearing aids with great trepidation, fearing people will make judgments, they worry their children will not have equal opportunities as their peers in life. De-stigmatization comes from the parents understanding that it is okay if their child wore big protrusive devices to help him hear the sound of rain and passing cars. I promise: it is okay if he has to learn to sign the words, and it is okay if he kept asking for the last comment to be repeated. This will gradually construct his self-confidence; it will make his battle an easier one. Help your children grasp and cherish who they are. Doing so is worth all the efforts it requires. They will not be ashamed of themselves as long as they receive empowerment from the surrounding, a sensation of normality despite all the differences. “Can you repeat that please?" Understand that we don't ask you to pester you or be a burden. Najeeb Abu Al Etham is a 27-year-old pharmacist from Ramallah, Palestine. He studied at the University of Jordan.
