“The school is nothing without the kids.†The high school principal seemed ill at ease, pacing around his office and the hallways, a lit cigarette sewn to his lip. The stress seemed to stem both from the listless exercise of putting in a day’s work at a school with no kids, and putting up with the petty gripes and bickering of faculty and staff who more and more came to resemble children. It was the day I was hired, back in late September, and amidst the paper jams and distress calls he was trying to give me a crash course on many things school-related; my Social Studies curriculum, behavioral concerns, the parents. “Don’t teach the Yom Kippur War, their parents have been brainwashing them about a resounding victory by the Arabs, and if it gets back to them that you’re teaching about a stalemate, then we’ll have dozens of parents calling in to the school. As a matter of fact, just skip the lesson on Judaism altogether.†He then told me I was lucky to have middle-schoolers, for some of his pupils in the high schools had already been jaded by drugs and alcohol. I left school that day with the sense of a challenge that lay ahead, but with the hope of chipping away the ignorance and complacency that already seemed endemic. After the entire month of November was lost to the swine flu, we finally resumed classes on December 6th. The learning and behavioral deficits I first spotted during the first weeks of October I’ve had little chance to rectify. Of these, the most striking was the crippling fear and surrender with which the students face ‘Critical Thinking’ or ‘Critical Response’ questions. Define cultural diversity. Is this a quality that each society should have? What are the possible negative effects of cultural diversity? Bearing in mind that well over fifty percent of the class knows the meaning of cultural diversity, why is it that more than fifty percent of the students leave it blank? From those who do answer, a significant portion will write Yes, because it is good or No, because it is bad. Then, there is always a number of students who, without anything correct, reasoned, or original to say, will mystify me with a meaningless syntactical conundrum. Yes. Negative are qualities and effects. And for this, I may just give them partial credit. With certain exceptions, the academic side has a positive correlation with the behavioral side. For my own part, I have rewarded those who don’t make my life a living hell with higher marks in participation. Among the miscreants, each child has his or her own manner of undermining me or inciting pandemonium. The picture of my classroom is often one of entropy, where hand sanitizer is dumped into the aisles, flatulence is not an embarrassment but an amusement, and the teacher’s word carries about as much weight as a fine on a professional athlete. Finding my balance in this second tour of duty, I’m finding it increasingly possible to typecast my students and their various attributes. This exercise has directly inspired by Dante’s Inferno, which I’ve read simultaneous to my teaching this semester. Here are my categories, only mine are from the most wretched to the most virtuous. — The Incontinent – The malady that touches the largest number of students, even some of which I’d place among the Studious. I think first about a girl whose desk is in the corner of the classroom because she cannot sit down. Each time I pass the classroom, she stands statuesque with her arm raised in eagerness to speak or answer the question. In general, the affliction is more insidious among the ranks of the boys, whose flatulence and propensity for dispensing other packaged substances at inopportune times is met with laughter and envy by the Impressionable or the Slothful boys, and only mild disconcertment among the ranks of the girls. The worst of the Incontinent lot is truly incorrigible in the havoc he wreaks. Larger in stature and girth and with the voice of a high schooler, his constant banter resonates over the pleas of the teacher, and he makes himself physically menacing to all around him. — The Slothful – Those who cannot, for fear of shifting in their seat, answer a Critical Thinking question. There are at least four of these in each class, and their presence neither enriches nor diminishes the experience of their classmates. I am only reminded of their presence when they approach me for permission to go the bathroom, an activity they seem to carry out with four times the frequency of the other students. At the very least, they are Continent. — The Vain – Students whose infrequent participation seems to hinge on the mood of the day. There is one girl who, for the first month of school, would scoff at my pronunciation of her name, much to the delight of her friends. When this trick lost its effect, she sunk into anonymity and neared the realm of the Slothful. This group will sometimes contribute in class, but only when the stakes are low. — The Heretical – my favorite student occupies this category all by himself. In a setting where originality is almost anathema, he can state an opinion with uncharacteristic gruffness for an 8th grader. Though a popular figure, especially among the boys, his penchant for speaking his mind does inspire the occasional wrath of the most Incontinent, and for this he’s come to class on more than one occasion with a black eye, band aids or a limp. — The Impressionable – A considerable demographic of my students are good-natured, respectful and occasionally industrious. They are the most virtuous of the bunch. However, they cannot think for themselves without very focused prodding and hinting on my behalf. For this reason, they are susceptible to the currents of chaos unleashed by the Incontinent and the Heretical. At this moment, they lose all curiosity, genuine or affected, and are enraptured by the antics of their friends. — The Studious – These students exist in each class, though they number anywhere from 1 to 5 in each. Not necessarily endowed with the most creativity, they are master note-takers and memorizers, and their penmanship puts the usual chicken scratch to shame. Some possess guile beyond their years in terms of baiting answers from me while I proctor tests, or trying to illuminate the misdeeds of others. Most, however, are hard-working, intelligent and honest, and are forced to suffer through the disciplinary circus that I try to run on the side. — For all the deficiencies I can list—of my students, of myself as a teacher, and not to mention the administration of my school—there is seldom a dreary day. I am amazed and heartened by the conviviality between students and teachers, fully aware that this can make the learning environment a lawless place. I often have trouble containing laughter as I preside over their antics. Thus far, it has been difficult to teach my way to an appreciable understanding of the world that surrounds my students, but at the very least they are meeting someone from outside their country and television set. BM The beliefs and statements of all Bikya Masr blogumnists are their own and do not necessarily reflect our editorial views.
