I have never done it before, but I am doing it now. Every evening, when I go back home, I hold a weapon in my hand and look about me, fearing that someone may fling himself at me to kill or threat me with a weapon to have my mobile (knowing that I would give it to him with no resistance whatsoever). And as soon as I get home, I make sure I have locked the door. Finally, when I have to get out, I tell my children to open the door only after they have made sure of the person knocking on the door. It is not only me who feels like this and this is not only due to the fact that every day, in the street where I live in the Pyramids quarter, a person is robbed of his mobile or a lady has her purse snatched, both in broad daylight and in the middle of the night. By the way, I live near a hotel with a police car often parked there, but this does not prevent such incidents from happening. Indeed, they occur all over Egypt in different ways, while more and more youths take bhang everywhere. I am not alone to be afraid. After the recent killings and facial disfigurements due to small or big robberies, all women are now afraid for themselves and their children. I know some women lock their bedrooms from the inside or have started mistrusting their doorkeepers or the grocer. They are even scared by the sound of the wind shaking the flat curtains. However, it is not only – and no longer – those living in apartments who are afraid. Indeed, fear is now spreading to castles, villas and luxurious residential compounds, which are yet guarded by trained armed men. We no longer know who our killer will be: an impulsive angry police officer, a spiteful neighbor, a hungry or drug-affected thief, a conscienceless doctor or a reckless driver. I can not accuse the police of negligence or the judges of being too slow in handing rulings down. The whole society has become violent and all its categories and layers fight with each other: drivers on the streets, judges in court, journalists on their newspapers, lawyers in their association, and even Sufi orders, which are supposed to be shepherds of love. Thus, no surprise that the society is falling apart, corruption is spreading and thieves and killers fling themselves at us in our homes and on the streets. Fear has taken over. If anyone feels safe, may they please raise their hands and tell us where their sense of safety comes from. Hell does no longer scare many. Conscience and faith have died out, while prisons have become tempting as they have turned into homes for stars, rich people and businessmen. There are no more symbols and fame has got the better of honor. So, where does safety come from? This is my fear and the fear of those around me. Please, think with me, how can we live safe and fearless while everything around us has become scary?
