Oula Farawati in Amman speaks to Iraqi refugees whose stories are underlined by poverty and loss of hope Since the fall of Baghdad in 2003, Odai Baghdadi has been looking for a place he can call home. The Iraqi accountant, who fled a ravaging war that has torn his country apart, resided in Jordan for five years and managed to get a master's degree in business management from a Jordanian university. But Baghdadi has now expressed his intent to go back to Iraq. The "few bucks" his family in Baghdad sent him to support his wife and three kids are finished, he couldn't get a refugee visa to Holland, and he couldn't find a job in Amman. "It is time to go home now," he smiled. "They say security has improved and maybe I can find the peace I am looking for in Iraq... I will send my kids to school and find a job and my life will be good." Baghdadi is one of hundreds who asked for "help to return" after security improvements in Iraq. Jordan hosts some 500,000 Iraqis who are offered education, health and other humanitarian services. But Baghdadi said life was becoming increasingly difficult for him: "Prices are much higher and I couldn't buy a house. Education is very expensive and no matter what I did, I couldn't find a job." Inflation in Jordan, like in many other Arab countries, has soared into the double digits, causing many families to suffer. Since 2003, prices of real estate have also increased sharply propelled by petrodollar investments and increased demand. "So I can't live here anymore," said Baghdadi, who rented a house in the low-scale Jabal Al-Jofeh. Iraqi Ambassador to Jordan Saad Hayani said the embassy was looking for ways to help some 600 Iraqis who wish to return. The development comes after Iraqi Immigration Minister Abdul-Samad Abdul-Rahman recently met with Jordanian officials to discuss the issue. "We are making arrangements to help them return safely, but no schedule has been set for that yet," Hayani told Al-Ahram Weekly in a telephone interview. But the UN High Commission for Refugees doubts current improvements in Iraq allow for speedy returns and said returns should take place "with safety and dignity". Sitting around a table adorned with Iraqi dishes, the family of Sama Sheikhli has found refuge, and seemingly a permanent home, in Jordan. "I can't believe some Iraqis want to go back," said Sheikhli, who fled Baghdad with her family in 2003. "Security is not there, no good economy and the country is now infested with cholera... We are too afraid to go home," the IT software developer said as the family waited for the maghreb call for prayer to break their fasting. Sheikhli's father established a small business in Amman and managed to buy a house in the up-scale neighbourhood of Tal Ali. His four daughters and one son are also working in Amman. "My sisters and brother are happy here. It is impossible for us to go back. It is good and peaceful here, although you Jordanians don't like us very much," she smiled. There is a negative sentiment against Iraqis among Jordanians, since many blame them for the rising prices of real estate and other commodities. The government compounded this by announcing that continuous waves of Iraqi refugees into the country have strained Jordan's meagre resources and placed pressure on its infrastructure. "But you know we didn't raise the prices. The Jordanian merchants did and we suffer from this the way Jordanians do. I don't see how we became the problem." The family broke its fast as the maghreb call for prayers filled the air. The table was typically Iraqi, with the famous Iraqi kebab and dolma. The family then got ready for an evening outside. Some 40 Iraqi women are meeting in an Iraqi family house to recite some Quran on the 15th night of Ramadan. "Today we will do a khatma [finish reciting Quran] and have Sohour," said Sheikhli. Those gathering at the home of the 27-year-old IT professional offer "a scent of home", giving her and her family the cosy feeling they lost in diaspora. Iraqis in Jordan have blended into the society, but they remain attached to each other. They opened restaurants offering Iraqi food and practise their traditions among small groups of Iraqis who are united together by nostalgic feelings towards a country they lost to occupation. "At the beginning, we were happy that Saddam [Hussein] is gone, but look what we have now. We have 100 Saddams and an occupier who rendered the country a victim to devastation and diseases," she said. Sheikhli's uncle, a university professor, was killed by the former Iraqi regime "by mistake", she added. "They came and took him at night and killed him. Later they told us there was a name confusion and he was taken by mistake. As simple as that, we lost our uncle and his kids still mourn him." This is why this family was happy the former Baathist regime was ousted. "But we are not happy anymore. Our country is lost, we became refugees, and we have to spend our life yearning for what was once home."
