Restaurant review: The chic-mongers' latest Or how I learned to stop grazing in heaven and ignore the brunch Sherif is the ebullient waiter clad in gray stripes here to make sure we enjoy our stay on cloud nine. His smile tickles both earlobes as we step through the austere wood and glass of the pearly gates and enter the netherworld where eternal bliss is ingested. Teatro, Mohandessin latest "brunch & restaurant", and most recent investment in burgeoning chic, "provides a welcome heaven [sic] to sit back and stretch out," and my companion and I felt too sociable to turn down a big- hearted invitation. Sherif seats us, tucks beige and red napkins into our collars, and hands us the eatery's road map, the transcended spirit's companion to good living. But we are unconcerned with redemption, atonement, or a coach- potato lifestyle replete with halos and white robes; ours is a clandestine mission, we're here to find the brunch. It takes a minor adjustment to transition from sin to serenity and the front section must be the place for it. Undoubtedly inspired by the napkins, firebrick and gradations of cream and beige inform the color scheme, and the occasional green, like the viscous that floats our table's candle, provides an eye-catching contrast. Sink-in chairs and sofas abound, along with the dark wood the city's chic-mongers seem intent on peddling. Whet your appetite with a crunchy blue cheese salad or its spicy Thai chicken with roasted almonds rival. Or for starters munch on the meat-&-potatoes Teatro canapé or smoked salmon tart as you stare at photos of octogenarians smoking cigars and, naturally, portraits of pears. Across a floor-lit passageway, which jazzes up the ceiling at night, and past an old piano yet to be put to late night lounge use, the back end of the restaurant gets cozier and more receptive to larger groups. We sift through a menu that "encourages you to graze and enjoy as much or as little as takes your fancy". The steaks and pizzas come highly recommended but, certain they can't be the only selections our town's up-market restaurants have learned to perfect, we continue to graze. Besides, we're still looking for the brunch. Very presentable main courses arrive and Sherif hovers, crushing his black pepper till we plead. The green rice that adorns the Jamaican fish is refreshing visually but the food is dry and chewing becomes tedious. Size matters in an establishment proud of the girth of their prawns, which they serve with a bold shore sauce, a blend of eight anonymous sauces. The pasta menu promised novelty with its chicken liver ravioli and quarto fromaggio fettuccine, but lesser fortune was to attend my companion. Her customarily salient features hung with a dark gloom as they shortchanged her on the veggies and missed "the point of primavera". We inquire about the restaurant's name. "It's because the sandwiches have a musical theme," Sherif elucidates. It makes little sense, but, nonetheless, the tempo is garnished mozzarella and gouda, the salsa's strips of steak drowned in mozzarella, cheddar, mustard and barbeque sauce, and the symphony is the smoked salmon star. Music does indeed turn out to be underdog theme; across from the piano lies a collection of golden- era radios and, if only for an instant, you're transposed to the 1930s and the big band music is deafening. Try as we might, we never did find the brunch. The word doesn't appear in the menu, never mind its edible manifestations, so we give in to the dark side and settle for the nefarious Moulin rouge meringue of cream and strawberry exuberance. "Brunch" was, in all probability, simply the coolest substitute to precede "& restaurant" in a bistro that serves virgin Pina Colodas and Long Island Ice Teas. The crowds of Tabasco and 35 -- clearly the format they're straining to emulate -- will have to be lured in when the sun's out, dodging Mohandessin gridlock is a priority, and decadence can wait. Teatro. Brunch and Restaurant. 31 Al-Nakheel St, (off Batal Ahmed Abdel-Aziz St), Mohandessin. Tel: 7624391, 7624392. Opening Hours: 1pm--1am (2am Thursdays and Fridays). Dinner for Two: LE150. By Waleed Marzouk
