A new private club for divorcees is in the making: Hanan Sabra considers what is in it for prospective members The Confidence Club for Divorcees (CCD) is the first of its kind in Egypt, open to both males and females. Established six months ago by Abeer El-Ansari, who was shocked with the growing number of broken families in Egypt over the last two years, the club aims to fill a gap in the attention paid by the Egyptian government to this phenomenon; El-Ansari believes she has put her hand on the main obstacles in the way of divorcees. Lebanese, the mother of two, with a British ex- husband, El-Ansari found her way to Egypt only after she was divorced; she works as the director of the Luna Bianca Hotel and Boat, where the club has been convening on a temporary basis. Her views are deeply relevant. "The stereotype of the divorced woman in our society is horrible," she says, with bitterness -- most divorced women, lacking self-confidence, find it next to impossible to face life alone after divorce; the situation is made worse by the stigma attached to them, so much so that they are cast out of the lives of their closest friends. "And the role of the CCD is to help members make new friends with a similar experience. It is like group therapy," she says, "based on shared hobbies and problems." Nor is El-Ansari discouraged by the fact that the government has yet to approve the project, which is pending registration and has therefore yet to be advertised. "As we're targeting a certain social class, joining is easy enough through word of mouth." No fees are required, only a legal document proving divorce -- with one exception, people over 35 who have never been married. "Singles after the age of 37 or 40," she explained, "can be just as lonely." To date, club members have kept a low profile: "People in Egypt aren't very open to new ideas. We are trying to gain recognition and respect, both in Egypt and abroad." The plan is to network internationally with similar organisations with a view to sharing experience and learning from each other's lessons. To Assem Qandeel, CCD board member, confidentiality is essential. In a meeting, a spokesperson will typically broach a topic of their own choosing -- "how to solve financial problems," for example -- and so the discussion begins. Qandeel explains that divorce is often accompanied by financial problems, especially with women who cannot support themselves: "So we either invite specialists to teach us how to resolve an issue, or a psychiatrist to assess experiences." But as regards the notion that the club aims to give people a chance for a second marriage, El-Ansari is categorical: it is not. "Usually remarrying is a bit difficult for a divorcee," she says: the capacity for trust is significantly diminished, and it will usually take time for a divorcee to consider another candidate. "But this doesn't mean that I'm against a second marriage -- the opposite is true." A second marriage, she believes, has a better chance of success; a person will have gained experience and learned from their mistakes -- they will be better able to deal with problems. "Still, this is not at all the aim of our club." Responses to the club vary. Wesam Abdel-Hamid, 35, likes the idea: "I've never heard about such a club before, but it's a good idea and should help me to overcome the loneliness I feel. Still, I wouldn't join unless it was a registered club with approval from the government." Noha Mostafa, the mother of four, finds it a good chance for her children to meet with others in similar circumstances. For her part, Reham Mahmoud doesn't agree with the idea of the club: "I was divorced eight years ago, and I haven't had any serious problems since. I keep my confidence, which is key. So I don't feel I need any kind of club." Likewise Mohamed Abdel-Rahman: "Divorce is an experience like any other experience in life. It may be a bit harder, but this doesn't mean we're sick and need treatment. Anyway," he concludes, "I suppose it all depends on your kind of personality." Nor is psychiatrist Nasser Loza in favour of the idea: "That club might cause divorcees more problems indeed. If they already feel they are a separate community in society, this will increase their psychological problems. Society can't be divided according to who is married and who isn't. In that case you might as well separate jobs and houses -- which would be a social problem indeed. Divorce," Loza concludes at last, "is not a disease."
