CAIRO - Like many girls her age, Nadia dreamed of the day she would start a family of her own with a loving husband. When Magdi, rich and in his late twenties, proposed to her, she felt that he was the right man for her. Just three months after they'd tied the knot, things began to change and problems started to creep into the couple's life. Of course, they tried hard to resolve their problems, but, after Nadia gave birth to their first child, she was forced to spend most of her time and use most of her energy caring for their baby at the expense of her husband and their marital problems. While Nadia was busy bringing up their daughter, Magdi sought solace in Facebook. He started spending excessive amounts of time chatting online and eventually became an addict. Chatting and parenting responsibilities caused the young couple to neglect their relationship, which increasingly deteriorated as their problems increased. The long periods he spent chatting on Facebook made Nadia suspect that her husband was betraying her. After confronting him about her suspicions, he admitted that he was planning to marry another young lady with whom he had developed a relationship via the Internet. According to sociologists, in Nadia and Magdi's and many similar cases, both partners made mistakes and acted wrongly. Sociologists suggest that neither partner (in a troubled marriage) seriously tried to solve their problems and just let them get worse. Both of them were more concerned with things other than each other and solving their problems. Many Egyptians see social networking sites as a reason for the increase in the rate of divorce. According to the Central Agency for Public Mobilisation and Statistics, there were 75,000 divorces in Egypt in 2012, with 40 per cent of them blamed on the husband's Internet use and his not caring for his wife. According to the study, 66 per cent of these divorces happened after men fell out with their wives and started visiting porn sites, as an alternative to their marital relations. "Facebook is like many kinds of technology, which make it easier for people to get close," says Dr Lotfi el-Sherbeni, a psychologist. "But it can also harm people, leading them into prohibited relationships that negatively affect the family unity." He explains that it is easy for men and women suffering from problems with their partners to be attracted to Facebook or social networking in general, to find out what they are missing. El-Sherbeni stresses that couples must be committed to talking together. He believes that transparency, honesty and daily dialogue between partners about solving problems, whether big or small, will help them discover solutions quickly, before their problems grow out of control. "This doesn't mean that married people should avoid using social networking technology altogether; however, it should be done responsibly," he stresses. "Married couples may even use the technology to strengthen their communications and help maintain loving relations." Ahmed Zaki, a communications engineer, says that young people should attend lectures that raise awareness about acceptable Internet use, suggesting that NGOs, in co-operation with the Government, could organise such lectures. "Partners should support each other emotionally. They should respect each other and try to solve their problems without any interference from their families. In this way, technology will play a useful role in their life, rather than ruining it," Zaki continues. However, Dr Samia Khedr, a sociologist, believes that technology is not the main cause for divorce, which she blames on the emotional separation between a couple as well as family members interfering in what should be the couple's business. Dr Samia warns that, when family members get too involved, larger, more complex problems may emerge. "When the married couple solve their own problems together, the divorce rate will fall," she told Akher Saa Magazine. “They should not resort to the Internet for someone to understand their needs."
