On November 1, 1965, an electric bus that was travelling along one of the streets along the Nile, veered out of control and plunged down a 6.5 metre embankment into the river. Seventy-four passengers were drowned in the waters. Another 19 survived. This tragic incident is one of ten of the world's worst motor vehicle disasters. Tut Ankh Amoun is listed as one of ten famous people who died young. The boy king was just 18 when he met his end. Meanwhile, Pepi II, King of Egypt, comes top of the list one the world's longest rulers from circa 2566-2476 BC - 90 years. These facts have been dredged out of ‘The Book of Lists', which was first published in 1977. I chanced upon this publication as I ran my eye over the catholic collection of second hand books ranged on the pavement and on a low parapet outside one of the few cinemas that are operating in Heliopolis. Think of this: according to a 1976 poll, Adolf Hitler still ranked as one of the five most hated people in history. What about the ‘16 things you never knew had names'? For example, an ‘zarf' is a holder for a handleless coffee- or teacup. A ‘piggin' is ‘small wooden pail with one long stave used as a handle' and the ‘indentation at the bottom of some wine bottles' is the ‘punt' or ‘kick'. Well, well, one lives and learns. This is the kind of book that every enthusiast of quizzes, especially those of the watering-hole variety, must possess. Personally, this writer prefers swapping anecdotes that some – particularly the ladies – may find offensive over half full glasses of a beverage that lost its fizz half-an-hour before closing time, when the intellect finds piggins, punts and zarfs hard to handle. [This week's fully intended pun, people.] ‘The Book of Lists' refers to any one of a series of compiled by David Wallechinsky, his father Irving Wallace and sister Amy Wallace. Indeed, they were wise to keep it in the family, otherwise, who outside this triangle would dare engage in a conversation that would be peppered with ‘a lot of people don't know this, but', ‘Believe it or not', and ‘It is a little-known fact that, say, a piggin was an object that fitted tightly over the head of one's interlocutor when the subject of discourse came to useless facts'. Each book contains hundreds of lists, of which many are accompanied by textual explanations, on such esoteric topics as the Worst places to hitchhike, Breeds of dogs which bite people the most, and Present day vegetarians. Reading about the 23 busiest lovers in history (King Solomon, 973-933 BC tops that one) and the ten most spaced (sic) astronauts is all very well – and besides, nobody mentions the twenty most spaced out astronauts or teachers of English. However, now for the really interesting stuff: this writer has ideas for Egypt's very own up-to-date book of lists of phenomena of which memories good and bad reside in the grey matter of us all. Five of the most commonly cited reasons given by your husband being late home: 1. Traffic on 6th October Bridge, 2. Slight accident with an idiot in an Opel Vectra on 6th October Bridge, 3. A last-minute assignment given by the boss, 4. Meeting with an old school friend whom he has not met since the Ahmed Orabi Revolt, 5. Abduction by aliens. Top three ways in which mobile phones are anti-social: 1. Imagine four people sitting at one table in a restaurant, all gabbling into their mobiles, 2. A job interview by a three-person panel as each member speaks periodically into a mobile or microphone-earphone thingy, making the candidate distinctly ill-at-ease and nauseous of the interviewing panel's lack of manners. 3. Listening to a one-sided conversation about goats and camels on a crowded Metro car. Five of the silliest questions: 1. Telephoning someone and, when the other party answers, ask: ‘Are you awake?' 2. Someone has just vomited and fainted in a crowded Metro car, prompting the question: ‘Are you OK?' 3. The day before the test, ‘Will the test be easy or difficult?' 4. After foul treatment by staff, the customer asks: 'Can I see the manager?' and the offending person is the manager. 5. You tender a LE20 note for an article that costs LE11.50, and the assistant asks, ‘Do you have change/the right money?' Four kinds of people who should be dumped on Mars: 1. Next-door neighbours, 2. The neighbours on the floor above, 3. The neighbours on the floor below, 4. the bloke in the kushk who never has change, not even for a LE20 note. Six of the most annoying sounds: 1. Car alarms that go off when someone lets off fireworks in the next governorate, 2. Rockets let off at 3 a.m. even though there is nothing to celebrate, not even Al-Ahly being thrashed by the Mutants from Mars, who are the products of a freak accident involving a carrier of nuclear waste, the bloke at the kusk who never has change for LE20 and the neighbours upstairs, 3. thud-thud music coming from a pizza delivery scooter, 4. Stone- and tile-cutters that whine endless at the building site opposite the office throughout your seminar, 5. applause when a celebrity steps on stage during farce videotaped in black-and-white, 6. the silence of the silent majority. Five items to which decorators apply unwanted coats of paint: 1. door handles, 2. light switches, 3. the occasional bare light bulb, 4. the piggin you left out by mistake in your kitchen, 5. bathroom shower attachments. Top five articles which you would like to give to the rebabekia man: 1. suite of furniture bequeathed by mother-in-law, 2. recently replaced toaster that no longer toasts anything, but fries your arm when you plug it in, 3. old kettle that serves hot water and lots of carbonate deposits from the element into your morning coffee, 4. Those bloomin' magazines that no one reads any more but take up several cubic metres of cupboard space on the balcony, 5. one's spouse.
