I am not writing an article this week. Go away... Leave me in peace... I'm in a state of shock. OK, I'll tell you the story briefly – give me 1,000 words or so – if you promise to walk out as soon as I finish. I was very disappointed to see the picture of our wonderful friend in the newspaper. Having a photo published is not the problem, but knowing that someone else instead of me – the big brother – had that pleasure and honour made me feel so bad. How could such a close friend as Fairouz Bahgat have someone else do this? It was a picture of her and her husband Mohamed Ali, taken at their wedding party. Let me explain that Sara Cruze Refaat joined The Egyptian Gazette years ago and to all of us here she is more of a family member. I am sure that whoever published the picture is also a good friend... But still Glucose Heshmat should have told me to do it myself. I would have also performed at their wedding... and reviewed my performance! Put yourself in my place – imagine seeing the photo of a younger sister, Tom Cruise Safwat, in the paper and then you will understand how I feel. Why does something feel wrong here? OK... so her name is Nayrouz Talaat. It's not a big deal. I hardly know her anyway. I think we met once before at the Ice Cream Convention... or was it Pop Corn? A name is nothing more than a name, if that makes any sense... I know it doesn't, so let's skip names and talk about photographs. One of the finest hard rock bands to ever come from Britain is Def Leppard. The band's hit songs include ‘Photograph' and there is an interesting story behind it. It was said that this track was written as a tribute to the ugly woman.... What's her name again? Ah... Marilyn Monroe. Well, she wasn't really ugly... In fact she was GORGEOUS, but I don't want to admit it, because I have a reputation to keep – I'm the cool guy who never expresses his admiration for any woman. It seems that members of Canadian grunge band Nickelback were not happy with Def Leppard's song, so they made one themselves and called it ‘Photograph'. What a coincidence! Frankly I love this one much more. I can relate to it, because it is about memories of childhood and life in general. It's also about making future plans. One of the most moving songs entitled ‘Photograph' has to be the one performed by Beatle Ringo Starr in memory of his fellow Beatle George Harrison. We all know that John Lennon and Paul McCartney were always in the limelight, more than the other two guys, anyway. Still I personally think George was highly talented. When he passed away, Ringo performed this song in a tribute concert. Most people don't know that the song was co-written and recorded by the two of them, 28 years before George's death. Naturally, it had an entirely different meaning in that concert, especially the words, “Every time I see your face it reminds me of the places we used to go, but all I got is a photograph and I realise you're not coming back anymore." Let's move to a brighter thought. Rihanna is probably the most successful artist from Barbados. She expressed her disappointment in the song ‘Photographs' with bars like, “It could have been you and me, now all I got are these photographs." At least she was lucky to have something. British new wave band A Flock of Seagulls didn't have the same kind of luck. Apparently, having a single photograph was more of a luxury and that is why the guys sang, “If I had a photograph of you or something to remind me, I wouldn't spend my life just wishing," on the track ‘Wishing (If I Had A Photograph of You)'. First of all what kind of man would need a photo to remember his girl? This is very strange unless of course he is trying to forget her on purpose. I am not sure but I think he was in love with some ugly girl, because the same band had another hit called ‘I Ran (So Far Away)'. She must have been a real monster. I believe the words will explain my point. “I walked along the avenue, I never thought I'd meet a girl like you, with auburn hair and tawny eyes, the kind of eyes that hypnotise me through and I ran, I ran so far away, I just ran, I ran all night and day, I couldn't get away." How scary could a girl be? The guy actually went on giving details about the alien he met and tried to run away from. So it must have been the shock that made him forget what she looks like. I say he is lucky he didn't have a photograph of her. Any time he misses her, he can watch a horror movie. Mind you, the band members looked very weird, so they might have been aliens incognito. Now I have to warn you about something. Don't worry, we might still be able to handle things in a very civilised way, so please don't panic. Can I get you something to drink? Are you comfortable? OK... I'm sorry to break the news but I was told that Irish pop band Boyzone has a ‘Picture of You'. We can never predict the outcome. These five boys might sell your picture to the paparazzi. I don't think you should sue them because this will draw the attention of international media. The matter is getting out of control because American band OneReplubic (yes it's written that way) announced, “Hopelessly I'm taking a mental picture of you now." This means that pretty soon your face will be on every CD cover. I wish I could help but I can't. Now go away and leave me to cry for a while. Didn't I tell you that I'm so sad? Send me your photographs to: [email protected]
