Abdullah, aged three, is a stubborn boy who never does what his mother tells him. He is forever saying ‘No' to her. But do you think that teaching your son never to say ‘No' will help him to grow up strong and independent? According to family relations consultant and physiatrist Tamer Gamal, mums should not prevent their kids from saying ‘No'; they can teach their children normal behaviour by playing with them. "Young children want to express their ego and their personality, and they try to do so via rejection, if their parents suppress them. A child may have an inner feeling about the person dealing with him, before that person even starts speaking, and he might reject that person, as he's previously rejected his parents. "The child can guess that his mum is going to ask him to bring her something, not tell him something that's going to make him happy. Children behave stubbornly when their parents are strict with them," Gamal says. He stresses that, if you observe your children's behaviour when they're playing, it will give you a clue to know whether they are suffering from anxiety, depression, suppression, hyperactivity, loneliness or nervousness. "Such symptoms do not indicate an illness or psychological disorder, only behaviour that needs to be adjusted. "When treating your kids while they're playing, which is a key means for detecting abnormal behaviour, you need to focus on one area of misbehaviour and one treatment," said Gamal at a lecture held at Al-Sawy Cultural Centre in Zamalek, entitled ‘Treating Kids through Playing'. Parents also need to consider the age of their children ��" pre-kindergarten, primary or teen ��" in addition to their intelligence and interests, he added. "My child doesn't want anybody to share his moments of playing," said one of the participants at the lecture, asking about the best way to deal with such a problem. In the case of children who are on their own, Gamal has explained that there are different types of games, some depending on participation, others individual games. "Games like snakes and ladders, cards, ‘Connect 4' and playing football will help solve the problem for these children," he stressed. If you have a daughter, the way she plays with her doll reveals a lot about her inner feelings, influenced by her surroundings, either her home (if she is at the pre-kindergarten age) or her school. If the daughter treats her doll in an aggressive way, for example cutting her hair, beating or insulting her, this could mean that the girl is being insulted or treated badly by her teacher (if she goes to school), or she's being treated badly by her mother (if she's still at the pre-kindergarten stage). Another attendee said that her child throws puzzles all over the place when playing. Parents should bear in mind that their child can get angry if he's too young to solve a puzzle that might be easy for an adult. Gamal advised parents to choose toys of a suitable size, shape and touch for their children. It might sound surprising, but a child could be really scared of a teddy bear that's too big for him. Sportive games, drawing and drama are indirect methods of teaching positive behaviour, Gamal noted during his lecture, adding that the child should be allowed to choose the sports he wants. Many parents were deprived of playing certain games when they were children and then force their children to play these very games, when really it's better to let children choose for themselves.
