There are those who would say I am a megalomaniac . something along the lines of Supreme Chancellor Palpatine. Who could forget when Palpatine grilled Samuel Jackson's Mace Windu and screamed in typical Sith blood-curdling fashion "POWER! UNLIMITED POWER . Power, megalomania, super-ego, id, all the lovely words your friendly neighborhood psychoanalyst taught you before you could walk. But with megalomania comes paranoia, and with that comes the stuff of conspiracy theories. For years, Egypt and other developing countries have entertained themselves with conspiracy theories. Mohammed Fayed, the owner of Harrods in London, has long claimed that MI-6 and other units of British Secret Services, were behind the deaths of Lady Di and his son Dodi. When two planes struck the Twin Towers on 9/11 2001, some Arabs said the Israelis were behind it. Various web sites pointed to the arrest of Israeli painters, later released by the FBI. Some others still alluded to the story of Israelis atop a van applauding as they filmed the towers come down. In one Egyptian paper a few years ago, I read that former Prime Minister Ariel Sharon used to kill Palestinian children and eat them when he lived on his father's kibbutz in Palestine. Another Egyptian daily went so far as to say that Gamal Mubarak was looking for fame and status when he said the country is in dire need of nuclear energy. That daily apparently had not done its homework - Mubarak was addressing Egypt's urgent energy needs in the next decade. In discussion and interviews with nuclear scientists and energy researchers, this paper has since confirmed that Mubarak was absolutely correct - Egypt is in need of alternative sources of energy to oil, gas and coal. And nuclear energy in North America and Europe is touted as the safest, most economically viable source. So one can only conclude that these conspiracy theorists are insane, inane and asinine, right? Well . yes and no. For the greater part, most conspiracy theories are flights of fancy, but let us examine this on a mathematical scale. Let us say there are 1000 conspiracy theories, all placated with elaborate schemes and "evidence . Are we to assume that there is a 100% miss ratio? Is it impossible that even one of these theories hits the mark? No, not impossible. Take this conspiracy theory, by the by: Israeli politicians control European and American politicians. We have heard of AIPAC - America Israel Public Affairs Committee - which some allege looks after Israel's interests vis-à-vis US foreign policy. They point to the persistent US veto in the UN Security Council against any resolution condemning Israeli aggression as evidence. We have also heard of the revealing report written by John Mearsheimer of the University of Chicago and Stephen Walt of Harvard who highlighted the efficacy of the Israeli lobby in molding US domestic and foreign policy. They were bombarded by charges of malpractice and academic dishonesty. Their paper, The Israeli Lobby and US Foreign Policy, cited the organizational prowess of pro-Israel groups in marrying the media, think tanks, and numerous politicians into a unified front that muzzles criticism of the Jewish State. So imagine then what we should make of the little exchange between Israeli Prime Minister Ehud Olmert and Italian Prime Minister Romano Prodi. It went something like this. Ehud: Que vai, Romano, eh, you haveta say whata we wanta you to say, capiche?Romano: Si, si.Ehud: This is whata ya have-a-ta say about Palestinians, hokay?Romano: Hokay, boss!Ehud: Eh, you-a good boy! Have-a some-a mi tiramisu, hokay?Roman: Si. Looka, boss, journalistas coming. I bedda shutapa my face now.Ehud: Si.Romano: Si. And there you have it, ladies and gentlemen, as captured by Israel's Channel 10, Olmert instructing Prodi what to say about the Israel-Palestinian issue. An Israeli television station broadcasted candid footage on Thursday that appeared to show Olmert, during his first official visit to Rome, coaching Italian Prime Minister Romano Prodi on what to say during their joint press conference. It is important that you emphasize the three principles of the Quartet - that they are not negotiated (sic). They are the basis for everything, Olmert says, referring to Western demands that Hamas Islamists who run the Palestinian government soften their views before peace talks with Israel can begin. And then they hugged and played in their sandlot.
