Restaurant review: Food for thought Tastier than just unpretentious courgettes, now scrumptious zucchini is merging relish with other recollections, muses Gamal Nkrumah "Crikey. They scared the living daylights out of me," Queen Tiye slumped down into her chair, panting heavily. She heaved a groan of despair. "It takes a lot to scare the pants off me, you know. I tell you these were hardened criminals," she gave a small gasp of pain. Queen Tiye was too traumatised to talk about what happened on her way to 6 October City. She grabbed at her mother of peal necklace as if it was an unbearable choker worn tightly around her throat. I feared that the nacreous neckband would come apart. "Will you go for an appetiser? "Crazy salad, perhaps." "Crazy salad? What on earth is that?" she whispered breathlessly. "Caramelised apple, watercress, Dutch lettuce, sesame and chili sauce," I explained. "No thanks. I'd rather have the Zucchini salad -- Dutch lettuce, walnuts, red grapes, blue cheese and prawns," Queen Tiye rolled her eyes theatrically. Getting off to a good start is crucial, so we'll do without the Salutti salad -- pineapple and prawns drenched in a creamy cocktail dressing. "2011 has been a transformative year for Egyptian culture and society. Who would have reckoned that a routine trip to 6 October City on the outskirts of Giza would be a nightmarish excursion into hell?" Queen Tiye is frantically agitated one moment and imperturbably retrospective, or rather incurably introspective the next. "I can do with mussels drizzled with lemon and garlic sauce," she seemed to be enjoying the agreeable outdoor surroundings of Zucchini in the Mall of Arabia. Queen Tiye is peering across the Zucchini. "Is that 'What's Her Face'? You know, that actress�ê� Her name escapes me," Queen Tiye returns to her Zucchini salad and I to my Crazy one. On the other side of the restaurant I spot the star taking a seat. "It is," I pluck a plump prawn from her Zucchini salad. "To some of us the 25 January Revolution has been a time of uncertainty that draws us into a long night of nerves," Queen Tiye pauses and catches herself. "Sorry to be grumpy on so beautiful an afternoon." She refuses to be drawn into what exactly happened to her on the highway. "There is not a lot to say. Honestly, honey." "Now for the main course." I do not press her to open up, and change the subject instead. "How about pizza? Let's see. Pizza Avocado? Avocado slices and shrimps. Or, Pizza White Sauce? That sounds somewhat off-putting even though, believe it or not, it includes smoked salmon -- shredded I suppose, Italian cheese. They don't tell you which one and the waiter is not sure which Italian cheese is in question. Aaarh, and onion rings topped with olive oil. Yuck." "No thanks, not for me either," Queen Tiye still looks shaken in spite of her confident words. "Perhaps Pizza Rocca -- watercress, or rocket, smoked beef and Parmesan cheese. And, of course, the whole is showered with more of the same -- pesto sauce fusing the aromatic basil, the pungent garlic, the faintly fragrant pine nuts, Parmesan cheese and olive oil." "There is a lot going on below the surface," Queen Tiye drops the ball and reverts suddenly to her philosophical foibles. "Things need to change. The revolution is supposed to have changed things. I'm going to drive on the highway just to savour the gourmet ingredient like smoked salmon or fresh prawns, caramalised apple or pineapple in my salad in a smooth and elegant eatery such as Zucchini as I have always done. I'm not going to live my life based on fear of other people's judgements and intimidation," she looks set for her next nod with the highway. It takes Queen Tiye more than a satisfying Mediterranean-inspired meal to reach her era-defining conclusion. I was astounded at how much gravitas she had acquired in the interim. I gave her a huge hug right there in the heart of Zucchini. It felt like a weight had been lifted off her and it wasn't those pearls. Zucchini Mall of Arabia 6 October City
