Raising the steaks

Resturant review
Raising the steaks
Injy El-Kashef is cowed by nothing
It has nothing to do with how valuable you are, as a person, when someone walks out on you mere seconds after deciding that he wants a steak, and he wants it now. You should never, ever compare yourself to a steak, no matter how numerous the similarities. I learned this lesson recently. I was in the middle of a lovely conversation with a dear, dear person when I suddenly realised that a steak had come between us. I stood still, confused at his sudden exit, the words "steak, steak, steak" resonating in my head. Gluttony is a deadly sin, with good reason. This little episode resulted in my asking myself who was more beautiful, the steak or me; then, when I had settled the issue, it aroused the sudden need to conquer a steak, destroy it and put it in its place.
So off I went to the Hard Rock Café at the Royal Meridien with two friends of mine. It is a spacious affair, bathed in the sunlight streaming in from tall, narrow, Gothic-looking windows. The usual Hard Rock paraphernalia -- anything and everything related to famous singers, actors or models -- is on prominent display. The waiters were all quite pleasant and efficient (never had our ashtray cleaned so many times in our lives), although the food seemed to take longer arriving than we could have wished. In the meantime, though, a perfectly delicious virgin Pina Colada and two Carlsbergs (happy hour from 4pm-8pm everyday, half price) were our best friends.
The three of us sat watching the customers within our field of vision. At one of the tables sat two men and a woman discussing what could only have been work. Unfortunate; but they were not the only ones there. At another table sat a couple engaged in a low, intense conversation. What were they saying to each other? Who was the strongest? Who was making the other's life miserable? From a distance at least, everything seemed all too clear. Should we quickly go and warn the poor man? We were certain she was a hysterical cow that nothing could satisfy, and that her companion, poor soul, would soon be crawling on elbows and knees while she watched, head high. Sadly, our food arrived before we could inflict any permanent damage on their relationship.
The Ringo Combo is a selection of appetisers including passable Onion Rings, hard and undercooked spring rolls and delicious strips of deep- fried chicken breast. These delicacies were accompanied by honey and mustard sauce, barbecue sauce, sour cream and pico de gallo. It is a rather good and filling idea -- unlike the House Salad, which closely resembled the pre-packed mixes one finds at Metro supermarket, improved with a little bit of bland vinaigrette, some croutons and a toss.
As for the main courses, my Tenderloin Fillet Steak was so tough that my gums ached the rest of the evening just from having chewed on it. My friend's medium-rare version was no better, according to him, and we both left a significant amount of meat on our plates. Delicious, though, was the baked potato, which came with an ice- cream-size scoop of butter and another of sour cream. My other friend's Lamb Sandwich was not bad, she said, although the sauce was so hot that it destroyed her mouth. No dessert, a LE246 bill, and we were walking past the couple, mumbling "cow" with the utmost certainty.
Hard Rock Café, Le Royal Meridien, Nile Corniche, Garden City.
Tel: 362 1717
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