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Entre Nous - Meeting your true love
Published in Al-Ahram Weekly on 15 - 10 - 2014

Feel like you'll never find true love? Or that when you do meet the person who can most enrich your life, you won't know if he or she is your soul mate? How do you deal with it? And, most importantly, how do you distinguish between true love and a passing infatuation?
Don't worry, you're not alone: love is the only topic that men and women alike are both confused about. True love doesn't find us. We create it — within ourselves, with those we love, and with everyone and everything we touch. We create it whether we're single or are with someone with whom we want to grow old.
True love can't begin until the in-love experience has run its course. And though chemistry is very important, recognising the difference between a craving and real love is crucial too. But at the core we are all romantic fools desperately wanting our love story to be the one that defies all logic.
Adopt a few expert true love tips, and you'll be well on your way to creating the true love of a soul mate:
Learn the language of love. Choose your words carefully and eliminate the words that sound nasty. The way we communicate with others and with ourselves determines the excellence of our lives.
Seek out the best kind of relationship, one where you are not only a lover, but a trustworthy best friend as well.
Stop and listen for the signs of a real love that takes action and won't take no for an answer.
Appreciate. Find as much as you can to appreciate about your true love. Appreciation and gratitude are vibrations that will attract your soul mate.
Listen and empathise. There's nothing sexier than someone who truly listens. Open-hearted, nonjudgemental, intensely interested listening expands our spirits.
Give and expect to receive open-hearted acceptance. Feeling validated and approved of lights the way to walking in the same direction towards happiness.
Get selfish. Feel free to love yourself without restraint. Once you become your own most thoughtful lover, you can attract a true love.
Open your heart to what's possible. Begin to take down the walls that have “protected you” from receiving the kind of love you deserve.
Have enough courage to trust love one more time, and maybe one time again.
Never love anyone who treats you like you're average, because you're extraordinary. Give what you want and never settle for less in return.
End blame. Make an agreement to not criticise each other, even it takes a while to do so completely.
Laugh hard and often. Find humour in yourself, your kids, and life itself. If you love together, it will be easier to work things out.
Stay above the line. None of us is perfect.


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