Egyptians are known for their sarcasm and sense of humour, even in the darkest times, and I am no exception. Sometimes we must joke to overcome pain – if not, we might explode. The end result is a mixture of tragedy and humour. It might seem insensitive, but some people joke even while paying their condolences and the purpose is never to make fun of the deceased or the occasion – it could be to lighten things up. When we find nothing to joke about, we make fun of ourselves. This is the nature of Egyptians. Some say that this is our way of handling problems and foreigners don't understand why we still have big smiles on our faces, in spite of the unbearable problems we are facing. Egyptians are so witty and so fast as well... we are the fastest to come up with new jokes on the spot. I remember that, during one football match, I was told four jokes while the two teams were still playing! So, now that you know the way we think, I will mix disaster with music. A few days ago a friend and many of his relatives were looking for a vacant bed in the intensive care unit (ICU) of ANY hospital. His old aunt suddenly had a brain clot and they had to look for more than two hours until they finally managed to find a bed at a military hospital. It is ironic, because her daughter-in-law is a big shot at a reputable hospital, which is not far away from her home too, yet she couldn't help at all. The phrase everyone involved in the searching process heard was ‘No vacancies'! In such cases people start telling stories that have happened to them or ones they have heard, and I did indeed hear a few frustrating stories. A friend told me that he lost his aunt last year, as he drove her around the city, trying to find a hospital that would admit her, until she passed away. I also heard of a similar incident that happened to someone's mother-in-law. Much to my surprise, a friend said that it was the third time for him to hear such a story in a relatively short time. So this has turned out to be a common problem and despite its seriousness, most people are not aware of it. It is inexplicable to me, because we are talking about the lives of human beings and hospitals make a lot of money out of human beings every day. What hospital wouldn't want to make a profit? Then why don't they have more beds in ICU? I know this is the music section, but sometimes I find it impossible to ignore issues as important as this and the introduction was meant to explain that the fun part doesn't mean I am inconsiderate or insensitive. I just prefer not to depress people then walk away. So it's time to have fun. Boys and girls get your party hats ready and let's talk about songs related to... hospitals, sickness and even death! We all have health problems sometimes. It could be a minor thing and it might be serious, like the problem British singer Robert Palmer had, which he couldn't keep his mouth shut about. He told everyone that he had a ‘Bad Case of Loving You'. Now everyone knows ‘you' caused this. Are you happy now? Anyway, Robert has died. Cuban-American Gloria Estefan and the Miami Sound Machine were luckier – they say ‘Better be Safe than Sorry' and Gloria knew that, in emergency cases, she should page ‘Dr Beat'. Not only did this doctor give Gloria and her band a big hit, but he probably helped her recover from the bus crash she had, which threatened to leave her with a permanently damaged back. Irish singer Joe Dolan turned to ‘Sister Mary' for comfort when his woman was hospitalised. Sister Mary finally told him that his lover has died. Joe too is dead now. Many people have heart attacks and die, but Australia's most gorgeous artist, Olivia Newton-John, had a hit with ‘Heart Attack'. This sounds unbelievable, but then so is Olivia. Causes of death vary and traffic accidents are a common cause. I am not talking only about our local traffic – even in France road accidents kill people. Michel Sardou told us all about it in ‘Un Accident' (An Accident). He was involved in it and I think he died at the end of the song or something, which doesn't make sense at all because he's still alive. In fact, his 66th birthday is coming up in a few days. It seems that car crashes happen all the time... The Primitives warned us about a ‘Crash' and got a hit with it. This English band comes from Coventry – the city with the cathedral and all the stories about German air raids during World War II. I've been there and it's a nice town. Goodness gracious, this city survived the war and... me! What kind of a person would call a band Crash Test Dummies? That's the name of a Canadian band and, because I'm not sure how the traffic is there, I will say ‘Mmm, Mmm, Mmm, Mmm', which is exactly what this band said as they invaded international charts with it. Now we know that the kind of a person would call a band Crash Test Dummies is the same kind who says “Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm." Swedish duo Roxette went to the extreme and called a whole album ‘Crash Boom Bang'. Could this be why the two of them disappeared completely? I don't think so... they are Swedish and Volvo is a very safe car. Since we are in Europe, let's quickly visit Austria, Did you know that Mozart wrote his ‘Requiem' as he was dying? It was later used in... No, I won't tell you. You have to watch the brilliant movie Amadeus to know the details. I hope I have managed to cheer you up with this article... That is enough. Send me your prescriptions: [email protected]
