DHAKA: Suresh walks slowly through the market. Nobody looks at him. There are no stares as he purchases the vegetables for tonight's party with friends. It's a costume party and one Suresh, at 33, still enjoys. He's going as "the gay Harry Potter" and his partner will be "a little not so Hermione." For him, the daily grind as an IT consultant would be fine if he didn't spark the attention of neighbors and family for his sexuality, he told Bikyanews.com on the walk home. "This is my life. It is who I am," he began. "A lot of people ask me why I stay in the country and why not leave and go somewhere different. I love my mother and want to be close to her as she gets older." But his mother won't speak with him after he called off an arranged marriage to a girl last year and announced he had been dating. A man. That sent his family into an overhaul, calling on religious leaders of all kinds, Buddhist, Hindu and Muslim, to see if they could "talk some sense into me and tell me I was wrong." That hasn't stopped him from receiving work and meeting with some of the youth in the area where he now lives, a more upper class neighborhood of the capital, Dhaka. This has given him some solace, he says, as he mixes with foreigners and wealthy alike who Suresh says "don't put a stigma on me." Being gay in Bangladesh still has many negatives. LGBT rights are not respected in the country and physical attacks are known to take place regularly against those who dare to live their lives in public. Suresh is one of the few. "We go out and while we don't get crazy or anything, people notice us and this draws attention. We have been spit on, had things thrown at us and forced out from clubs just because we are gay. But things are changing," he argued. And this gives him hope for the poor South Asian country in overcoming their adversarial nature toward the gay community. He pointed to India, which has largely legalized homosexuality and guaranteed basic rights for all its citizens. He thinks Bangladesh can follow. "I am really hopeful about the future and where we are going. It takes time to change mentalities that have existed for so long. Especially among us Muslims," he added. For now, Suresh lives a solitary life away from his family, although he has been able to speak to his mother recently, she still won't see him. "That is the hardest part of the whole thing. Being who I am and being shunned from my family is difficult," he said. BN
