KUALA LUMPUR: The area around their table goes silent as a man walks by. For these young girls, talking about sex and sexuality is an almost untouchable subject in Malaysia, but they are hoping that coming together and talking about their experiences will help change how women in the country can develop an understanding of sex. “The idea of sex and women is a struggle in Malaysia because society says that women should be honorable and wait until marriage," said Sonal, a 21-year-old university student in the Malaysian capital. She and her friends at university have been holding regular meetings to talk about dating, relationships and ultimately sex. Without adequate sexual education, they told Bikyanews.com that the only way to come to a better grasp of the largely taboo topic is to talk about what they have experienced. “We are young women and we have all been in relationships, many of them sexual so it is important for us to learn and yes, a little gossip does happen," she added of the meetings they are holding. Often, they invite older women to their group to give them direction. “It isn't as crazy as many people would think. We are just open and discuss. It is a learning process," she said. Their meetings have been ongoing for nearly a year now, but only recently did they start to feel that sex in Malaysia was beginning to find its way into society in a “normal manner." But in the past few weeks, top sex blogger Vivian Lee has been at the center of controversy over her comments online. It has sparked fears among government officials and women alike that sex and sexuality have a long way to go before it can be openly discussed. Despite her openness in revealing her sex life in the “Sumptuous Erotica" blog, Lee confessed that she was brought in up in a slightly conservative family, unlike her partner, National University of Singapore (NUS) law student Alvin Tan. “They don't want to be labeled, and perceived as sluts," the 23-year-old woman told The Malaysian Insider. “There is nothing wrong with sex." “I have always been different," the Johor Baru native said. “My family don't get me," she added. But despite the controversy surrounding her open discussion of her sex life, these young women find her blog “supportive and helpful." These young girls said that without the young blogger, they would never have had the courage to reach out to each other on sex. “This is an important part of anyone's life and in Malaysia, it is still not a good thing to talk about it so we praise and respect Vivian for her doing what she does," said Tina, a 20-year-old student who said she is in a sexual relationship with her boyfriend of two years. “We both read together the blog and other articles on sex to help us because we don't know much," she admitted. Although their blog has since been taken down by the pair, leaving only an archived page with thumbnails of their previous posts dating from September 20 through October 15, but photographs and videos from the blog have since been circulated by exposé site Gutter Uncensored. For these university students in the country, Vivian has quickly become a symbol of independence and pride. “We all want to be as honest as Vivian is in talking about our lives. Maybe not in public, but at least to each other," added Sonal. BN
