"Before you know it" is a heartfelt observational documentary about aging, loss, isolation and finding one's community. Its characters, isolated in their "golden years", will grab your attention and keep it. The second documentary feature from director PJ Raval enters new territories that have not been accessible to many before: the private lives of three gay seniors, in three different parts of the country. We see the struggles, the loneliness, the need to connect and tell their story. Raval shows his three subjects in a warm and loving light, sympathetic in their isolation, he frames them as family. Ageism, love and creating your own community are at the center of this intimate look at gay seniors in their golden years. The three men – Dennis, Ty and Robert – are three different people looking for very similar things. Dennis, a man whose sexuality is still being discovered, by him, at the age of 80. Ty, a NYC-based activist who we celebrate with him the passing of marriage equality in the state. As for Robert, the southern queen from Texas and his team, bursting with life and laughter intertwined by a deep sense of loss. “If you're not young. If you're not pretty, if you're not, if you're not, if you're not, see ya. You become invisible," Ty said. At some point Dennis, a widower who came out when he was 70, becomes Dee and dressed up, he hits the clubs with the young, beautiful people, there is a scene showing Dee dancing alone after a brief conversation with young men. Raval isolates him in the frame to embody his disconnection. Later on, we see him waiting for someone from a sexual online app. Not out to his entire family, Dennis the late bloomer understands death, he knows loss, yet not for a second does he stop rediscovering who he is. Dennis knows how culture try to diminish him: “I think that young people can't possibly imagine that people my age could even have a sexual life of any type." Ty's love story with his partner and his struggles in Harlem to reach out for LGBT seniors and later the passing of the marriage law, is a complete unit of accomplishment and a power statement on love. Ty leads the Harlem division of SAGE (Services & Advocacy for GLBT Elders), but we see Harlem's heart start to warm up towards hearing his message. And enters Robert, a bundle of life, laughter and festivity, he runs the oldest gay bar in Texas and lives among a beautiful family of queens. He struggles to retain the legacy of his community bar when confronted with legal troubles and his own failing health. Yet, Robert who lost his partner, shares the most moving memory of this trip, his tales about his lost lover, are universally moving themes, even if told in drag. Raval has shot 500 hours of footage as he followed his subjects closely, never intrusive, and has created three balanced story lines, all connected at the core, but moves smoothly without interrupting your thoughts. “You never think about getting older when you're younger. But before you know it creeps up on you and you're there already," said Robert. The film opened in March 2013 at the South by Southwest Film Festival and showed at the San Francisco International Film. BN
