Restaurant review: 'A Study in Scarlet' Gamal Nkrumah relishes British dishes against the strains of "Sexual Healing" at Cairo's Sherlock Holmes pub A Study in Scarlet, the first novel to feature the fictional detective sleuth Sherlock Holmes created by the Scottish-born author and physician Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, was what I imagined an English-style pub in the heart of Cairo to be like. However, in fact it turned out to be a "Study in Emerald", since verdant green with touches of scarlet and pistachio dominate the room. The late Marvin Gaye's unforgettable song "Sexual Healing" filled the air in this stylish watering hole overlooking the Nile. "Oooh baby I'm hot just like an oven... I can't hold it much longer... It's getting stronger and stronger." It was indeed sweltering hot outside at 2pm. "I was feeling lonely and I need some lovin'," Gaye roared with his characteristic passionate cry that sends electrifying shivers down countless tormented spines. It was at this moment that a Russian -- or perhaps Ukrainian -- damsel with a peaches-and-cream complexion and striking chestnut hair tied in an inconspicuous pony tail marched into the place head and voluptuous breasts held high. Marvin Gaye was blasting away: "Get up, get up, get up and let's make love tonight... I can't wait for you to operate 'cos you do it right." The "Tila Tequila" lookalike was flushing and she had the air of someone who feels good. She lowered her piercing blue eyes and turned to serve an elderly English couple. I settle for Granny Holmes's original baked-to-order steak- and-kidney pie. The pastry was perfect -- puffy, piping hot, soft and doughy. The gravy was watery, though, with far more mushroom than steak. The kidneys smelled good, however, and I was hungry and could hardly complain. The waiter brought a revolting gooey greenish stuff in a saucer that he pronounced "mushed bees". I told him that I hated that particular English delicacy -- mushy peas. "I'll have baked beans instead," I ventured, thinking that I would have the traditional British baked beans, but instead he returned with red kidney beans. But surprisingly enough they were the perfect accompaniment to the steak-and-kidney pie. I examined the place for clues of Holmes memorabilia -- the deerstalker cap, the pipe, the magnifying glass. I spotted them all. Even the Baker Street Irregulars, the street children of Holmes's day, seemed to be roaming the shantytown adjacent to the Ramses Hilton where the Sherlock Holmes Pub is located. There are many pictures of this famous investigator and his private detective agency. His tobacco he put in the toe end of his Persian slippers, his cigars in the coal scuttle. As we are in the middle of June, I paid no attention to the possibility of finding a fireplace. Flickering embers often feature at the most opportune moment in detective novels starring Sherlock Holmes. The Sign of Four came to mind as I read the menu, which was divided into sections with evocative chapter headings such as "The Case of the Yorkshire Pudding Ripper" (variations on traditional British dishes like Fish and Chips) and included Bangers (beef sausages) and Mash. "The Case of International Espionage" was more complicated. This section included chili prawns that we were warned were not for the faint-hearted. Asian-inspired dishes abound such as Chicken Tikka Masala, Stir Fried Veggies, and Chicken Teriyaki. The Shepherd's Pie made me think of The Adventure of the Devil's Foot, or perhaps The Man with the Twisted Lip. I toyed with the idea of ordering Dr Watson's Baked Jacks -- baked potatoes topped with your choice of chili con carne or chicken curry or sour cream. Named after Holmes's best friend and biographer Dr Watson, the dish consists of a delightful dollop of sour cream stuffed inside a plain old jacket potato. "The Case of Sweet Little Lies," that is to say desserts, is a feast of wicked delights. "Death by Chocolate Gateau," we were told contains more calories than we could count. Then there was the ubiquitously named "Murder She Says" -- apparently vanilla ice cream with prunes and a dash of tequila. "Scream of Ice Cream and Fatal Attraction" -- cheese cake -- demonstrates that whoever wrote the menu ignored Holmes's injunctions. "The emotional qualities are antagonistic to clear reasoning," notes Holmes in The Sign of Four. And now it's time for "Get up, get up, get up... let's make love tonight." Sherlock Holmes Pub Ramses Hilton, 1115 Corniche Al-Nile, Cairo Tel: 2577 7444 Lunch for one: LE120
