Restaurant review: Head in the sand Chariots of Fire? Not quite Saint Andrews but a veritable Garden of Eden, muses Gamal Nkrumah Every purchase should have a purpose. "The Japanese are really obsessed with golf," Queen Tiye, or is she Nefertiti, picks discriminatingly at her fusilli bucati spruced up with a dash of cilantro. "But, the Japanese do not always know how to choose the most flattering golf apparel," she chooses her language forensically. The brunette bombshell is into designer golf clothing and is pleased with her latest acquisition. "Farewell to goofy golfing gear," she grunts. For most golfers after teeing off at the crack of dawn and strolling over extraordinarily maintained greens, marking stunning bunkers and lush fairways, dinner is a gradual winding down. That said, the main restaurant of Jaz Little Venice Golf Resort in Ain Sokhna is superbly sandwiched between the turquoise and aquamarine waters of the Red Sea and the lilac and purple Red Sea Hills engulfing Ein Bay. This is a veritable world class golfing destination with two of Ain Sokhna's leading golfing retreats -- the Little Venice Golf Resort and Ein Bay. "It is quite a large portion," mumbles the exceptionally beautiful brunette. She is exceedingly tall. Her eyes are painted like that of an ancient Egyptian queen. We toy with our starters, and the Cape Bay red wine is going down nicely. "I'll have the ostrich steak," I salivate over the prospective feast. I point to two plump steaks of the deep dark burgundy flesh of the beautiful giant, the largest living species of bird. I adore the flesh of those flightless but magnificently feathered creatures. "Ideal for weight watchers," Queen Tiye interrupts. Ostrich fat collects outside the muscle of the powerful big bird, and is therefore easily removed. "Ostrich has no breast meat like chicken or turkey," I fiercely defend my choice of favourite red meat. "Ostrich has no fat marbling like beef." "That's far too much," she says to the waiter, who giggles nervously. "And your plate of pasta is also far too big," I reply pointing at her enormous dish of steaming fusilli bucati. She picks the hollow "little spindles", the spiral-grooved barrel of a rifle shaped stuff, not to be confused with the rotini, flattened and twisted pasta. Set within the lovely grounds of two golf courses with stunning views of the sea, I was vaguely reminded of the Ecclesiastical capital of Scotland, Saint Andrews, where John Knox himself preached. Now it was Nefertiti's turn to pontificate. "Your choice of ostrich meat is very sensible, indeed. The taste is similar to lean veal. It is low in cholesterol, low in calories and is smothered in unsaturated fats," she chortles with another of those royal iron handshakes. "I like mine lightly fried, three or four minutes on each side in a little olive oil with a little pink on the inside in the heart of the steak," I ventured, sounding out the buffet chef. "Ostrich can also be eaten raw as carpaccio," Queen Tiye teases. Encountered just a little over an hour's drive from Cairo, and a mere 100km from Cairo International Airport, Sokhna Golf Club offers golfing facilities and amenities to rival any world class destination, Queen Tiye assures me. Her Royal Highness, and she is startlingly tall, is especially enthused about the professional golfing shop. The waiter removes our plates of which only mine is clean. Combined with his air of guardedness, he gives an impression of diffidence. He proceeds to describe each dish in some detail. "Seafood, perhaps," she beckons. She will only eat shelled prawns and she'll never touch crabs. "Those pincers give me the creeps," she shudders. We decline the waiter's offer to follow him to the buffet. We skip dessert and order coffee. Decaffeinated cappuccino for Nefertiti and a double espresso for me. A few minutes later, her BlackBerry buzzed. Careful not to appear immodest in her reply we dashed off to the golf course. Jaz Little Venice Golf Resort Ain Sokhna
