Valentine's Day is a day for love and affection, yet it may turn to disappointment if lovers choose inappropriate gifts, finds Ahmed Abu Ghazala Valentine's Day is around the corner and people who are engaged, married, or just in a relationship spend a lot of time thinking of a special gift for their partners. They set a certain budget then start touring the shops in an attempt to find the perfect gift. Finally, they feel relieved and happy when having it wrapped at the shop, if possible buying other supplemental gifts, like bouquets of roses or chocolates. However, even after all that effort, the gift may still result in a partner's dissatisfaction because "men are from Mars and women are from Venus", as American writer John Gray entitled his well-known book about relations between men and women. Eissa, a journalist at Al-Ahram, recalls a true story that happened to one of his colleagues in the 1970s. "A hairdryer was a new device at that time, and one of my friends thought it would be nice to give one to his girlfriend as a Valentine's gift," Eissa said. Unfortunately, the hairdryer created a huge fight between the two, and their relationship was terminated because the girl thought that her boyfriend had meant to send her a message saying that she had ugly hair. "The guy thought she would like it, but she thought it was an attempt to insult her," Eissa commented to the Weekly. It is true that people will often be disappointed if they receive gifts they don't like. For such people, this can show that their partners do not care about their needs and desires. "I would be very upset if my boyfriend bought me something that I would hate thinking that I would like," said Aya Sultan, a fresh mass communications graduate. Sultan added that a good gift could be a simple one, but it should be something she wants. However, she said that she wouldn't break off her relationship with her boyfriend because of a bad gift. On the contrary, "I would pretend to be happy in order not to disappoint him." It is also well known among guys that girls are more concerned about Valentine's Day than they are. "Girls are obsessed with these occasions; it is a sacred day for them. Guys care about Valentine's, but we can't be compared to them," said Khaled Shams, 18, a freshman engineering student at the American University in Cairo in an online interview with the Weekly. Shams received a wallet and a teddy bear as gifts two years ago. "I pretended to be extremely happy to my girlfriend's face, though I felt very bad internally," he said. However, his relationship with his girlfriend wasn't affected because gifts aren't a big deal to him. What does make guys feel disappointed, he explained, is feeling that their girlfriends have not exerted adequate effort in buying a gift. "I like to feel that she has spent time thinking of the gift and saving for it," he said. For many people, today's excessive care about gifts given at Valentine's Day has turned the occasion from a romantic symbol into a day when lovers expect gifts, making it into a field day for shops and restaurants. "The occasion is exaggerated everywhere. Cafés that normally have a minimum charge of LE30 up it to LE50 on Valentine's Day, and everything becomes more expensive," Sultan said, adding that colouring everywhere red and playing love songs on the radio can also be provocative, especially for single people. Nevertheless, for all that Valentine's Day has kept its romantic touch. It can even be an occasion on which lovers can overcome any difficulties they may face. What do most people buy on Valentine's Day? ACCORDING to Sherif Zaki, assistant store director of a famous jewellery outlet in Mohandessin, most people tend to buy chocolates and roses on Valentine's Day. Other kinds of gifts include jewellery, perfumes, ties, teddies and candles. Generally, gift prices range from between LE25-500 and LE15-200 to wrap them except for perfume would reach LE1,000. "As for ritzy brands of jewellery, they range between LE1,000- 5,000," Zaki said.. Readers' window Valentine's Day is the international day of love, when the air is laden with Cupid's heart-tipped arrows and the scent of roses and chocolates being exchanged by loving couples. Al-Ahram Weekly is pleased to share with readers their memories of this special occasion An unforgettable disaster Laila, 32 : I spared no effort in arranging a romantic evening with my husband. I planned to leave the kids with their granny and reserved a room in a five-star hotel. Love was in the air, and red roses and candles of different shapes and sizes were scattered everywhere to add romance to the scene. We were in the middle of passionate moments when we heard strong knocking at the door. Opening it, we found a group of the hotel's employees standing by the door, and the surprise made us stand still in astonishment for a few seconds. Then, the hotel staff explained that the smoke from the candles had caused a fire alarm to go off in the hotel! As a result, our very special and romantic time together turned into a quarrel between me and my husband, and our happy Valentine's Day turned into an unforgettable disaster. Always carry extra cash Asmaa, 22 : My fiancé and I decided to spend Valentine's Day in the Belini Bar at the five-star InterContinental Hotel last year. Youssef, my fiancé, was spending his mid-year vacation in Dubai, so I made the reservation and paid LE150 as a deposit. Youssef returned on 10 February and announced that he would not see me before Valentine's Day, so that he would be missing me even more. On the day itself, Youssef brought LE350 with him just in case. The minimum charge was LE150 per person, and I had already paid LE150 so the total would be something like LE300. However, when we asked for the bill it came to around LE500. The funny thing was that neither Youssef nor I had the additional LE15 or so to pay the bill. Would we really have to wash dishes or something on Valentine's Day for the sake of 15 pounds? Fortunately, one of our friends was there and was able to lend us the money. Our romantic evening together turned into a hilariously funny one. A memorable proposal Donia, 34 : People say that the moment when the person you are in love with looks you in the eyes and tells you that they are in love with you too is priceless. I never thought I would fall in love at first sight. I always thought that this was just something talked about in romantic novels or poems. But when my soulmate stared directly into my eyes, I was thrilled and realised that this was love. We had known each other for a time as friends, but one day he offered to drive me home. On meeting him, I was surprised to find that he had brought a lovely bouquet of flowers. It was Valentine's Day when he asked me to marry him. At first, I hesitated, but as time passed he became everything to me, and that Valentine's Day really changed my life. We are now married and have a lovely daughter. Our love for each other never ends and is reflected in our daughter. Letters on fire R S, 29 : For three girlfriends, Valentine's Day was more about putting a painful past behind them than about celebrating love. The "dreaded day" was approaching, and the three of us, all single, in our mid-20s, and fresh out of heart-breaking relationships, were determined not to spend Valentine's Day alone at home. A day before the day of the red flowers and glittery ribbon-wrapped gifts, we decided that Valentine's Day was the perfect day to let go of the past and start anew. Each of us wrote a letter to her ex-partner. Letters can have a magical healing power, for in them one gets the chance to say what's on one's mind without restraint. They are like a good session with the shrink. After each of us had poured her heart out in letters steaming with agony, hate, rage and sorrow, it was time to hit the Cairo-Suez highway for "the burial". The plan was to pull over onto the side of the road, dig a hole in the desert, put the letters in the hole and set them on fire. Fire consuming objects linked to a certain period in life can symbolise an attempt to erase that period from memory. The smoke from the burning materials represents the black clouds of the past rising up into the air, clearing the atmosphere for a rosier future. So, on Valentine's Day, as lovers were enjoying a night out in the city, three girlfriends, each there for the others, were in the desert taking part in a whole new kind of curative experience.
