“Intuitively, having so many choices should make you happier, but it can actually make you feel worse. The more options you have, the higher your expectations, and when your expectations are sky-high, you're destined for disappointment, no matter how good things get,” says Barry Schwartz in his book The Paradox of Choice: Why More Is Less. While our parents had limited choices, we're living in a world that offers us endless possibilities. As women, we have countless options when it comes to careers, relationships, clothes and even exercise classes. Yet, we're more bummed out compared to our mothers. So if such abundance doesn't make us happy, then the key, as many specialists opine, could actually be a mix of the following essential elements: A solid core group of friends:Friendship is one of life's main joys because spending time with people who know you well affords you the freedom to be yourself, which increases the feeling of contentment. You can have a small close-knit group of friends, or various friends that factor into different areas of your life but aren't necessarily part of the same group. What matters is to share bits of your private thoughts and secrets. And if your friends accept you as you are, then you'll feel connected and happy.
Have adventures: Go off on an exciting weekend with new friends or just do an unusual act. People assume that doing the right thing leads to happiness, but actually taking risks does. If everything you did in life was safe, you'd never have any exhilarating moments or crazy experiences to recall, or even have the sense that you're truly living. Toss excess stuff:Extra belongings weigh us down and crowd our space. They also make us feel overwhelmed and disorganised. Lightening up will help us regain control and, therefore, happiness. You don't have to clean the house completely, but you should hold on only to stuff you love. If you haven't used or admired something in six months, part with it with no guilt. Balance busy and dead time: Overextending yourself induces stress, yet it also makes you feel productive, like you're contributing something, which is very important to happiness. Similarly, inactivity breeds boredom, which inspires feelings of uselessness and discontent. So to hit the perfect balance, fill your days with stuff you love and stuff you have to do. It might be enough to vow not to dwell on work after-hours, schedule regular vacations or even go for a quick meditation. Give in to temptation: You log overtime at work, hit the gym religiously, and stick to a low-fat, no-fun diet. Yes, it's exhausting to keep up. If you don't stop to savour something pleasurable, you're going to wind up miserable. It's true that success takes some serious discipline, regardless of your personality profile, but when you feel completely overwhelmed, that means you need to treat yourself the most. Indulge yourself and go for a gourmet sandwich for lunch or get a deluxe spa pedicure. Love yourself:The key to happiness is appreciating yourself despite anything that is wrong with you. The same goes for any physical imperfections that may deflate you. It's necessary to let ourselves off the hook instead of beating ourselves up. However, it's important to learn to keep your inner critic in check and remind yourself every time you get down of something you excel at. Stop mentally browsing:We usually convince ourselves that there must be something better out there, but “mental browsing” is a recipe for dissatisfaction. Doubting a good move just because there were other options that we didn't choose is just wasting time and energy. You'll never be happy if you live like this. Whenever you are in doubt about a decision, pick two characteristics that are important to you, and once your criteria are established, ask yourself if they're being met. If yes, forget other options and move on. Relax; you've made the right choice, or at least one that's going to make you happy.
