On the occasion of international parenting expert Heidi 's first-ever visit to Egypt, she explained her child-rearing philosophy to the Weekly Did you have a medical background when you started out? Actually, I like to think that I talk not like a doctor, but like a mom. In fact, I don't have an MD or a PhD... I have a MOM! I didn't have any medical training or experience when I first started out, but all of these many years of research later, I definitely know my way around obstetrics, paediatrics, the behavioural and developmental fields, and more. When my first book came out, it wasn't quickly accepted by the medical community. In fact, at the first obstetrics/gynaecological conference I attended, I overheard a couple of doctors scoffing. "A pregnancy book written by a mother? What do mothers know about pregnancy?" Ironic, of course, but not surprising given the paternalistic attitude of doctors back then. But so much has changed since then. Now, the books are embraced by doctors as well as mothers and fathers, and they are even used in some hospital programmes to help train residents. What's the basic perspective of your work? If there is one perspective of the What To Expect books, I would say that there is no one perspective. Every mom and every pregnancy and every baby, every child is different, which means there's no one "right" way to be a good parent. There are many ways that are right. So, I make sure to stay away from any didactic or dogmatic or prescriptive approaches, instead offering options, strategies, potential solutions, and encouraging moms to pick, choose, experiment, and choose the way, or ways, that work best for them and that feel right to them, keeping in mind that what's right for one mom may be different from what's right for the mom across the street, or your sister, or your best friend. The bottom line is that there are few absolutes when it comes to parenting. Beyond loving your child unconditionally and keeping your child healthy and safe, really there are lots of good ways to be a good parent. How have you managed to keep a competitive edge on other books? You know, I don't think about what others are doing. I just do the very best that I can do for moms and dads. But I do think that it helps that the books are written mom to mom in a way that's warm, empathetic and easy to access. By the way, I also love what I do. I love connecting with parents, and I can't think of anything I would rather do! How far have the books affected your life? Well, I guess you could say that beyond my amazing husband and two children, the WTE, not just the books but the website, the foundation, the moms everywhere, are my life. I get up early and talk to moms on Twitter. I write all day and then chat with my WTE family again at night. I work all the time, but I do have the best job in the world! You've travelled around the world seeing the success of your books. Which culture has affected you most? I would have to say that I have been moved by moms all over the world, from Moscow to Delhi to here in Cairo. And the one thing I've noticed wherever I go is that moms everywhere share a bond that ties us together. No matter where we live, no matter what our socioeconomic status, no matter our cultural, racial, religious or political profile, no matter how different we are, we have a universal bond. Motherhood is the ultimate sisterhood. The Egyptian mothers I have met have overwhelmed me with their warmth, their kindness, and their intense love for their children. I have been struck by the fact that they, like all moms, crave the information that helps them do the very best for their little ones. Which of course is what motivates every mom, everywhere, me included. Do you benefit from your travels in updating your books? Every mom I meet, everywhere in the world, has something to contribute, whether it's a question, a comment, or an affirmation of that universal bond we share. When it comes to her own child, every mom is an expert. I will be taking so much away from this experience in Egypt, including a very full heart and so many unforgettable memories. I do frequent updates -- several times each year to incorporate some of what is medically new -- but each edition is completely new and different from the last. Feedback from moms absolutely plays a huge role in how WTE is recreated each time and how it evolves, and this feedback is as important as medical and cultural changes. Though your books are bibles for many women, Egyptian women included, are you aware they sometimes create hassles with doctors and parents? Personally, I advocate a partnership between doctor and mom, with each contributing what they know best (doctor, presumably, medicine, and mom, her own body and her own baby). The aim would be to work towards a mutual goal: the healthiest possible pregnancy, the healthiest possible mom, the safest delivery with the best outcome, and the healthiest, happiest baby. When WTE first came out, doctors were sceptical, but they've definitely come round and most in the US completely understand that empowered women who have good information at their fingertips (medically accurate information) can actually make doctors' jobs easier. Knowing why it's important to breastfeed or stop smoking or take prenatal vitamins helps encourage women to take better care of themselves and their babies, and it is a lot more useful than just issuing the prescriptive, "do as I say." Empowered women ask questions and seek answers, and that can only help ensure a better outcome. Eventually, all doctors will realise that it's mothers who don't have information who are at most risk, as are their babies. When you write a new book are you aiming it at a worldwide audience, or are you thinking just of your American readers? I always consider it to be universally applicable because though our experiences are sometimes different, most things are actually the same. There are, of course, differences in healthcare systems and even the availability of products, foods and services, and these differences are usually incorporated into the books by the overseas publishers. But let's face it, every mom has pregnancy symptoms she wants solutions for; every mom wants to know about feeding, sleeping and crying; and every toddler has tantrums! What can we expect for new mothers? What to Expect When You're Expecting, fourth edition, and What to Expect Before You're Expecting, which is a complete preconception guide. Coming in April 2011, there is What to Expect The Second Year, which takes parents from first birthday to second, followed one year later by WTE The Preschool Years, which covers ages two to five. Also keeping me busy is whattoexpect.com, the What To Expect Foundation, Twitter, and a new movie we are doing about expecting with Lionsgate Entertainment.
