"I'M tired. Do you know what it is like to represent more than a billion of people, every day, while you are walking outside your home? Do you know what does it mean when you become like the official speaker of a universal religion? Do you know what this means? It's tiring ... tiring … tiring." The previous lines come from a piece entitled ‘I'm Tired' from the project “The Hijabi Monologues, the meaning of being a Muslim in America”. It aims to use stories to create a better understanding of women's lives, generate empathy and a sense of shared humanity, and describe unique experiences. The idea, conceived by three friends in Chicago, continues to challenge stereotypes about a group of women who have often been defined by others. In its third year, “The Hijabi Monologues” has been telling the stories of female Muslim Americans ��" from their perspective ��" to audiences across the US and in Egypt. As interest in the show grows, organisers are thinking about how to best continue its message in the future. Each monologist character in “The Hijabi Monologues” wears the hijab (the Muslim women's headscarf), but the hijab is not the focus of any story. Sahar Ishtiaque Ullah was the creator of this idea together with two of her friends and is now the project's creative director. She was born and raised in South Florida and graduated from the University of Miami, where she majored in English, religious studies and political science. She earned her Master's degree in Middle Eastern Studies from the University of Chicago, and then went on to study at the American University in Cairo for two years as a CASA I and II Fellow, supplementing her studies by exploring Cairo and other cities within the region. “The Hijabi Monologues” concerns the power of storytelling. "It is about creating a space for American Muslim women to share experiences; a space to breathe as they are; a space that does not claim to tell every story and speak for every voice," said Ishtiaque Ullah in a video conference held on Thursday at the US Embassy in Cairo. She discussed the development of “The Hijabi Monologues” project in the US and ways that Egyptians could replicate the programme in Egypt. "Through sharing stories, strangers touch and connect. Through stories, we are challenged. Through stories, we are humanised,” she said. Sahar Ishtiaque Ullah, together with fellow University of Chicago students Zeenat Rahman and Dan Morrison, founded “The Hijabi Monologues” in 2006, growing out of an exchange of experiences that strengthened their friendship. Morrison was fascinated by Ishtiaque Ullah and Rahman's everyday stories as Muslims in America and thought they needed to be heard by a wider audience. "Among our friends, I was the storyteller in the group, and Dan really encouraged me to write my stories and share them with others," said Ishtiaque Ullah, "He kept insisting that ‘you don't understand the power these stories have had in my own life." ‘I'm Tired' is a piece about a Muslim woman wearing a headscarf and this scarf marking her out as Muslim, who all American people are watching carefully. And that's of course annoys her. "I remember once I was in Egypt and was waiting for a shawerma [donor kebab] sandwich in a long line, then someone [jumped the queue] to stand in front of me. I asked, "Why did you do that?" He answered ‘mafish mushkila' (no problem) and I said ‘la, fih mushkila' (no, there is a problem). I insisted on my right [to be served before him]. I can't do that in America, my homeland," Ishtiaque Ullah related. "If I spoke rudely with that Egyptian guy he'd have thought that I am a rude girl, but if I spoke rudely in the US to an American man he'd think that I'm a rude Muslim girl. It is very tiring to represent a whole religion. That's why I loved being in Egypt, walking in its streets and people think I'm like them and I'm Egyptian because of my clothes and appearance," explained Ishtiaque Ullah, who speaks Arabic fluently. Drawing its name and performance style from the American theatrical hit “The Vagina Monologues”, “The Hijabi Monologues” is about an hour long and ends with a questionand- answer session. Dozens of monologues have been held since the first show was presented in April 2007, and a recent performance at the Kennedy Centre in Washington drew more than 500 people. While the original thrust of the project was to reach out to non-Muslims in America, something unforeseen happened. "The initial idea was to reach communities of non-Muslims. We never thought Muslims would be interested in these stories because they already know them," Ishtiaque Ullah said. "The unexpected result was that many Muslim women and men were eager to hear the stories and share them with their community." Muslim Americans might be interested because the performance provides a forum of expression for their community that is unavailable elsewhere. Lina Hashem, who organised “The Hijabi Monologues” presentation in Washington, said a combination of factors in the American Muslim community attracts its members to the show. "Older-generation Muslims don't want certain things to be discussed because they are taboo," Hashem remarked. "Then you have the younger generation, who go through these same feelings but believe they can't share it with anyone, or they just feel alone in what they are going through." Of the 12 monologues, the first 10 were written by Ishtiaque Ullah and cover a range of experiences, from the comedic to the controversial. Ishtiaque Ullah said their content sparks exchanges between performers and audience members in the question and-answer session. Sometimes, as was the case in a peformance at Nova Southeastern University in Florida, the statements and questions can stun the performers. "The first person to raise a hand was an African-American man, who is not Muslim, and he began by saying, ‘Whenever I would see a covered Muslim woman, I would think she had a bomb concealed,'" recounted Ishtiaque Ullah. She pointed out that the man expressed how he, too, is the subject of stereotypes. "But, then he said how seeing “The Hijabi Monologues” dispelled his view. ‘After sitting and listening to these stories, I just realised that you are regular people'." She then remarked: "I believe this stories represent every one, not just Muslims, not just women." Most have focused on the experiences of young Muslim women from similar ethnic backgrounds. A recently added monologue discusses the experience of a mother, but Ishtiaque Ullah said that narratives need to reflect different generations as well as various ethnic and racial backgrounds. Not all performers in “The Hijabi Monologues” wear the Hijab in everyday life. Los Angeles��"based performer May Alhassen, for example, wears the headscarf on stage and to get into character before performances. Although most people involved in organising the monologues are Muslim, some are not. After two young Latino men vandalised a mosque in South Florida, Latina women asked Ishtiaque Ullah to have the monologues performed in their community. "The women were really disturbed by the incident because here they are, minorities, doing this to another minority," Ishtiaque Ullah reported, adding that Muslims and Latinos have similar struggles in facing prejudices. "They thought that the best way to help people understand and connect with each other, would be through storytelling." Everyone involved in “The Hijabi Monologues” is a volunteer, such as Hashem, who helped organise the Kennedy Centre performance in Washington. People learn of events through various means, including word of mouth, media coverage or through the Internet on social networking sites like Facebook. Performances are free, and no money is spent on marketing them. Ishtiaque Ullah believes the performances will continue to expand and attract more attention, mostly because of the content, which combats stereotypes of Muslim-American women by showing how American they really are. She said a playwright who attended one of “The Hijabi Monologues” auditions in New York City said it best: "This piece is really about America. It is an American narrative by people, who are often not seen as the face of America.”
