CAIRO - Has anyone told late American artist Andy Warhol about our elections? A long time ago, he said that in the future everyone would be world-famous for 15 minutes. I believe it's so true – people still listen to Bach and read Shakespeare, although they died centuries ago. These days countless artists in all fields appear out of the blue and achieve fame and fortune, only to disappear into oblivion in no time at all. In addition to this, more people with no talent whatsoever emerge, are cursed by all, then vanish. What does this have to do with the current situation? Music is playing a part in the Egyptian presidential elections… not a major role, but we can't deny that, despite the frustration that's sweeping the nation, many people have been talking about songs related to the two run-off candidates before their highly anticipated rematch. So what's the story? Someone who is taking part in the campaign of one of the candidates made a song to glorify the man he supports and his achievements. In order to do so, he ripped off a vulgar folk song. Funnily enough, this supporter is a thug who has taken part in violent riots on the side of Mubarak's supporters. So we had a thug singing and let me tell you that his number sounded nothing like gangsta's rap. However, the real felony was his disgusting voice. He should be put away for that. I will not mention the lyrics, the performance and the recording quality. I will leave that to your imagination. Next thing we knew, there was a parody made to mock this song and actually it was very funny… at least the lyrics made more sense. People started sharing it on Facebook and even downloaded it on their cell phones for a laugh. It seems that the other camp has been more active – a bearded man made a song to praise the candidate he is voting for and his programme. I have to say that he has a good voice but that's the only good thing about his number, which I believe he personally wrote and composed. I am not sure if the word ‘composed' is applicable in this case, because first of all the song has no music and secondly it has no melody either. I am serious! The man is a tenor who specialises in missing the right notes – he sings out of key and just goes on and on more than Celine Dion's heart! The lyrics are not obscene, but they are very naïve and the video features this guy belting it out excitedly. This video spread like a forest fire and there's no need to tell you about the foul vocabulary people used in comments, but even that didn't stop him from making a follow-up, dedicated to slagging off the other candidate and also some of his supporters. Naturally, it was quite as horrible as his debut work. If that wasn't enough, he later made a different version of the same number – a rap one. However, it remains to be seen whether Beyonce is going to record a duet with him, but don't hold your breath! I think these two guys should step out of the Rock ‘n Roll Hall of Fame for a minute and focus on what the people are concerned about. I know I'm not the only one who believes that we are now living in ‘Confusion', as the Electric Light Orchestra once said. Now I know that, when Genesis released ‘Land of Confusion', the trio must have had Egypt in mind! I couldn't have said it better myself! Back to the ‘duo'… the majority of Egyptians are not happy with the duo (also known as ‘the two candidates'). This is why so many have been saying that they will boycott the elections. I heard a man saying, “Why should I leave my house, waste time, go through the Cairo traffic and stand in a queue to vote for someone I don't want?” Others are seriously considering going and voting ‘no' for the two candidates, and already thousands of Egyptians have done just that abroad. A Cairo girl told me, “I will write one sentence on the voting form – ‘Glory to the martyrs' – and that should make my message clear.” Someone else said it's “Hobson's choice for the Egyptians”. In case you are not familiar with this term, it means that, although people are offered a choice, it's in fact not much of a choice – they will either take what's on the table or have nothing at all. The Rolling Stones summed up this whole tragic situation in one bar – “We're stuck between a rock and a hard place,” in the hit ‘Rock and a Hard Place'. As expected during hard times, problems happen. Herman's Hermit had a hit called ‘No Milk Today', but what Egyptians are concerned about now is fuel, so I guess we should record a song and call it ‘No Gas Today'. I don't know about other cities, but I'm sure that anyone who lives in Cairo has been suffering to fill their tanks and who knows how much longer this will last. Apparently, some people want Egyptians to think that the revolution was ‘Just an Illusion', as Imagination sang. I find it ironic that a group called Imagination sang about illusion. No matter what, our revolution was, is and will always be very real. Despite all the problems many people are still glued to Facebook and Twitter, where debates and fights dominate. I understand that we might have different perspectives, but still people should be cultured enough to have decent debates instead of rude arguments or silly meaningless ones. Three days ago, I had an online argument with a friend of a friend. I don't know her but she's an American woman, who is married to an Egyptian and, although she lives in Bahrain, she has been imposing her opinions and political expertise on everyone. Apparently, she is not aware of the current events and still she argued as if she knew everything. Even when her own foreign friends try to explain she doesn't listen. If I were to describe how I feel about this, I will say the same thing the Cars said… ‘Just What I Needed'. I have to run now. I'm going to Tahrir Square. Send me your votes to: [email protected]
