"Narrative Summit" Releases 2025 Recommendations to Cement Egypt's Position as a Global Tourism Destination    Egypt, S.Arabia step up trade ties through coordination council talks    Egypt reviews progress on $200m World Bank-funded waste management hub    Egypt urges Israel to accept Gaza deal amid intensifying fighting    Egypt, ADIB explore strategic partnership in digital healthcare, investment    SCZONE, Tokyo Metropolitan Government sign MoU on green hydrogen cooperation    Egypt welcomes international efforts for peace in Ukraine    Al-Sisi, Macron reaffirm strategic partnership, coordinate on Gaza crisis    Contact Reports Strong 1H-2025 on Financing, Insurance Gains    Egypt, India's BDR Group in talks to establish biologics, cancer drug facility    AUC graduates first cohort of film industry business certificate    Egyptian pound down vs. US dollar at Monday's close – CBE    Egypt's FM, Palestinian PM visit Rafah crossing to review Gaza aid    Egypt prepares unified stance ahead of COP30 in Brazil    Egypt recovers collection of ancient artefacts from Netherlands    Egypt harvests 315,000 cubic metres of rainwater in Sinai as part of flash flood protection measures    Egypt, Namibia explore closer pharmaceutical cooperation    Fitch Ratings: ASEAN Islamic finance set to surpass $1t by 2026-end    Renowned Egyptian novelist Sonallah Ibrahim dies at 88    Egyptian, Ugandan Presidents open business forum to boost trade    Al-Sisi says any party thinking Egypt will neglect water rights is 'completely mistaken'    Egypt's Sisi warns against unilateral Nile measures, reaffirms Egypt's water security stance    Egypt's Sisi, Uganda's Museveni discuss boosting ties    Egypt, Huawei explore healthcare digital transformation cooperation    Egypt's Sisi, Sudan's Idris discuss strategic ties, stability    Egypt to inaugurate Grand Egyptian Museum on 1 November    Greco-Roman rock-cut tombs unearthed in Egypt's Aswan    Egypt reveals heritage e-training portal    Sisi launches new support initiative for families of war, terrorism victims    Egypt expands e-ticketing to 110 heritage sites, adds self-service kiosks at Saqqara    Palm Hills Squash Open debuts with 48 international stars, $250,000 prize pool    On Sport to broadcast Pan Arab Golf Championship for Juniors and Ladies in Egypt    Golf Festival in Cairo to mark Arab Golf Federation's 50th anniversary    Germany among EU's priciest labour markets – official data    Paris Olympic gold '24 medals hit record value    A minute of silence for Egyptian sports    Russia says it's in sync with US, China, Pakistan on Taliban    It's a bit frustrating to draw at home: Real Madrid keeper after Villarreal game    Shoukry reviews with Guterres Egypt's efforts to achieve SDGs, promote human rights    Sudan says countries must cooperate on vaccines    Johnson & Johnson: Second shot boosts antibodies and protection against COVID-19    Egypt to tax bloggers, YouTubers    Egypt's FM asserts importance of stability in Libya, holding elections as scheduled    We mustn't lose touch: Muller after Bayern win in Bundesliga    Egypt records 36 new deaths from Covid-19, highest since mid June    Egypt sells $3 bln US-dollar dominated eurobonds    Gamal Hanafy's ceramic exhibition at Gezira Arts Centre is a must go    Italian Institute Director Davide Scalmani presents activities of the Cairo Institute for ITALIANA.IT platform    







Thank you for reporting!
This image will be automatically disabled when it gets reported by several people.



Cairo Carousel: Give me my drugs, my precious .
Published in Daily News Egypt on 23 - 11 - 2006

The Big Kahuna wants to start off this week by apologizing to the fanatical throngs of faithful readers for not making an appearance last week.
See, while you dry up your tears and quiet your worried hearts, you should know I was reeling with illness.
Yes, the BK was absolutely drained of all energies, twitching and turning in pain, miserable in his angst and coiled by the most debilitating of diseases.
I was being treated for a severe addiction.
And I was going through withdrawal.
Addiction is not an affliction that should be taken lightly. We are all addicted to one thing or another in our lives, some of the things are beneficial while others are just plain harmful.
We cannot really explain our addictions. Some of us are not even aware we have them.
Did Bill Clinton really know he was addicted to sex with rather obtuse and ugly women?
Did George Bush get treatment for his addiction to execute busloads of prisoners in Texas? (In the case of Bush, his addiction only worsened once he entered the White House and his lust was exported overseas. But hush, God told him to do it.)
Last week, I thought of telling MM that I had absconded of all responsibility, of needing to escape to one of those expensive spas where cats are treated for their addiction to tuna.
I needed someone to help me break my most debilitating of habits. I couldn't do it alone. I called a doctor friend of mine - KS - but he couldn't help me.
I sat there, stony faced, scratching behind my ear like a starved canine. My tongue hit the floor and searched for my drug. My Preciousssss .
Three days into my withdrawal I really did look like Gollum (Smeagol to the business world).
AN called to check up on me and I told her to frolic off of me.
I need my sushi dammit. I can't live without it. Tepa Maki, Philadelphia rolls - oh how Bruce Springsteen adores you.
I needed to be with California Roll and my favorite unagi. Eels, slimy, wet eels coiled around my body, making their way into my mouth.
And all the steamed rice that's fit to dump into a vat of sugar and vinegar.
Give me that salmon over a Mac any day, Toro tuna fat belly, smelly but oh so yummy.
Preciousss, give me my precioussss.
Yes, I am addicted and like the sex-induced happy hour in the Herbal Essences shampoo ad I want to kick my head back and scream with delight every time I pick up a seaweed-wrapped sesame seed-coated tako sushi with my wooden chopsticks.
Fish, vitamen E, good fats, I do not care. Just feed me. Please. Precious?
By day five of my efforts to cure my addiction I grew to hate humanity. I did not want to hear of open water, fishing trawlers, tuna cans (tuna piano?) or Japan.
Those nasty Japanese. I hate them. I hate them for being so efficient and invading the world BANZAI-style to force us, lure us, entice us with their rice and fish.
I hate them for creating sushi at the turn of the 20th century as a fast food in Japan's growing metropolitan centers. And here we are in the 21st century and Japan has won the war, I don't care what Ike says.
Ed's note: Two days after filing the above report, BK succumbed to his sushi lust by jumping into the Mediterranean off the Alexandria coast. Last we hear, he was drowning in a barrel of Soy sauce, wasabi, and ginger.


Clic here to read the story from its source.