Mona Abouissa discusses the newest trend among the newly weds: the wedding list A new, practical touch has recently been added to traditional Egyptian generosity with gifts. Couples on the threshold of marriage are increasingly compiling their own wedding lists, with commercial assistance of course, and then making sure to spread the word among friends and relatives. According to those partaking in this new custom, these lists bring happiness and satisfaction to newlyweds, while they obviously create opportunities for businesses. At its simplest, the wedding list really can help couples start married life more smoothly. It can also work as a sort of preventive mechanism against unnecessary blenders and spoon collections. "It's a practical thing to do, indeed," assures Madiha El-Safti, sociology professor at the American University in Cairo. Admittedly, wedding lists are a foreign custom, adopted by those Egyptians who have most strongly espoused Western influence. However, there are already many shops in Cairo and elsewhere which offer the service. Mohamed Mustafa, who manages one of the shops catering for couples' needs, told Al-Ahram Weekly that the trend is growing "slowly but steadily. Shops offering wedding list services are popping up like mushrooms." While Mustafa agreed with El-Safti that the trend is relatively new to the Egyptian public, he nevertheless sees strong prospects for it. Marriage plays a central role in conservative Egypt. On the personal level, it's about a couple setting themselves up to share a life together. This is a critical decision, and its celebration should be loud and extravagant, whether beneath the neon lights of a street decorated for the occasion, or in a rented hall at a five-star hotel. But Egyptian weddings are more than displays of love. They are also about family status and reputation, and, in a way, about satisfying the public's curiosity. "Marriage is very important in our society. Everyone is expected to be married at some stage," said El-Safti. And if after the wedding celebration comes the expectation that the couple will start a family, considering the recent wave of inflation and rise in prices, newly-weds certainly need all the help they can get. El-Safti added, "wedding lists are therefore both emotional and practical." Mona, a bride-to-be, told the Weekly that she believed strongly in the practicality of this new trend. "We already had a flat but lacked some of our basic domestic necessities," she said. "We included these on our wedding list." Meanwhile, she added that, while her fiancé was less excited about compiling the perfect list, she was happy to take the lead in doing so. Newly-wed Amira also put together a wedding list just before she tied the knot. "Gifts are a common attribute of weddings across cultures," she said, adding that she first heard of the concept of the wedding list a few years ago when her cousin was married. Unlike Mona's fiancé, Amira's husband took an equal initiative in making their list. Indeed the couple was happy with the result, and ended up receiving almost everything they had listed. And while the trend is spreading, many Egyptians have yet to come across it. Some have mistaken it for the qayma, a list of items which the wife will acquire in case of divorce -- indeed, quite the opposite of a wedding list. To many young men, it seems that before considering whether or not they would opt for a wedding list they will need to think hard about whether they're going to tie the knot at all. Several men in their 20s whom the Weekly interviewed showed a distinct lack of enthusiasm towards commitment. To some, the dramatic rise in living costs coupled with staggering rates of unemployment are the main reasons why they haven't settled down yet. According to El-Safti, "some years ago, young people were more enthusiastic to get married. Nowadays economic problems affect that motivation, leading to the rise of the phenomenon of late marriages." Some others, however, were simply appalled by the idea of marriage -- not to mention that of the wedding list. Be that as it may, while many couples have gone for the idea of stating what their needs are on paper, others, such as Sakina, were against it on a matter of principle. "What happened to the notion of living independently from consumer goods? What happened to the idea that one can live on love alone, and maybe combined with a little freshwater?" she asked rhetorically. Picking up on her thread of thought, I surfed the net only to find that a growing counter-culture against wedding market attitudes exists. Exponents of this culture insist that wedding lists and the like are cynically based on the idea that love can be bought or sold. But to newly-wed Amira, such views were simply radical. "Why does the fact that you are in love negate your need to consume? Don't you eat, drink and move around when you are in love? Don't you need a telephone, a computer and a taxi? Love makes you endure all bad tastes, car breakdowns and heavy traffic, but it doesn't make them go away now, does it?" she said. "As for wedding lists, I think they're a good idea. My view has nothing to do with consumerism. The list is there for you to simply spell out your needs and ask those who are close to you for help."
