Watching Egyptian and African champions Ahli struggle in the second-half of nearly every match they played over the past two months has become a recurring nightmare for their fans. But it wasn't only the fans who were left mesmerized by this disturbing phenomenon. Football critics are still struggling to explain the reason behind Ahli's dismal performances, especially in the second-half. Some claimed that the problem was with coach Manuel Jose, others said the team spirit was down, others blamed the players, injuries, exhaustions or a combination of the above. In fact, the answer is very simple. The Egyptian champions have apparently been investing in ‘cloning and stem cell research'! What does that mean, or what does it have to do with anything you may ask? As ridiculous as this theory is, it is very likely. The club has been working on a secret program to send its first team players, who managed to win every single local and continental competition they have played in last year, to be cloned in Europe. The idea was to create an arsenal of Ahli clones capable of filling in for the original ‘super players' in case they get injured or exhausted from the continuous football action. In a very smart scheme, Ahli deployed these clones just before the start of the new season so no one, not even their own families, could tell the difference or suspect fowl play. However, Ahli's officials were not willing to risk the entire squad in such a risky venture, after all, this research is still in its tender years and cloning only succeeded with sheep! So, to cover their bases, Ahli's officials, based on recommendation from Jose, held on to their two biggest assets, Essam Al-Hadari and Mohamed Abou-Treika, who were both not subjected to this experiment.
The idea was to create an arsenal of Ahli clones capable of filling in for the original ‘super player' in case they get injured or exhausted from the continuous football action. And right they were. Even though the cloning efforts succeeded in resurrecting some mediocre players like Flavio, Islam Al-Shater and newcomers Tarek Al-Saied and Mohamed Sedik, there was a slight glitch. Ahli's clones are suffering from a new disease that has become known as ‘Ahli's second-half syndrome'. This syndrome causes the physical and mental function of these players to seize after the first 45 minutes of any football match. And even though the curve of performance for Ahli's players in the second-half may be fluctuating, this is clearly because of the efforts that are being made to revamp these clones while the real players enjoy their year-off on some secluded island resort in the Caribbean, courtesy of the club's administration for their contribution during the last year. Meanwhile, the hapless Al-Hadari and Abou-Treika have to hold their own and lead a squad of clones into the unknown. If it weren't for these two poor souls who work their behinds every single game, day in and day out, Ahli would have been long eliminated from the African competition and held last place in the Egyptian league table so far. Unfortunately for coach Jose and Ahli's officials, the cloning and stem cell program did not bring the expected results, as it failed miserably to create exemplary copies. The refined clones of some of Ahli's ‘special' players like Shadi Mohamed, Hossam Ashour, Mohamed Shawki and others, were not refined after all, since probably the originals were not suitable, or useful to begin with. On the other hand, scientists are still struggling to create suitable clones from formerly top players like Emad Al-Nahhas, Ahmed Al-Sayed, Gilberto (whom were all conveniently on long layoff periods through injury), especially after screwing up the clones of other key-players. These key players were Mohamed Barakat, Emad Meteb and Wael Gomaa. All in all Ahli's investment has been a proven failure, and while some readers may consider my claims to be far-fetched or even crazy, I urge you to consider the following signs tha
