In the daily news, we read about a teenage girl involved in illicit relations with a number of young guys or about the shock for the parents who discover their son is a junkie and is married to a woman of loose morals the orfi (unregistered) way. There are many others stories like this. When the parents are well off and have given their children everything they need ��" a good education at an international school, plenty of money, trendy clothes, state-of-the-art computers and so forth ��" they wonder why this happens. In the teenage years, children undergo physiological and biological changes, which are often accompanied by rebellion, passion and the desire for power. If youngsters bottle up these feelings, they may, in a manner of speaking, explode. "Teenagers face self-conflict. They feel extreme individuality and often experience conflict in their relationship with their family. They suffer physiological and sexual conflict," says Dalia el-Shemy, a psychiatrist and the head of the ‘Ain Ala Bokra' (An Eye on Tomorrow) Centre for Physiological, Family Development and Management Support in Cairo. "It's a life stage that you should prepare teenagers for. You shouldn't just treat it as if it's a catastrophic stage and treat the teenager like an unwanted, irresponsible person," she told the Egyptian Mail. To know how to deal with teenagers at this transitional stage in their lives, we have to know the conflicts they face and how to deal with them. "It's not a matter of money, clothes, international schools or a luxurious lifestyle; teenagers and parents need to be aware that this adolescent stage is going to happen," according to Dalia. "The biological and physical changes that occur in teenagers should be accepted by their parents, who need to give the boy or girl their love, care and trust. Above all, parents need to be able to talk to them," she adds. In Oriental society, teenage boys and girls are strictly supervised: they can't go out alone and have very little pocket money. They are treated as if they are irresponsible. "I lived in Germany for a long time, but then returned to Egypt. Once, a German friend came to visit me in Cairo with his ten-year-old son. When my friend went out, the boy jumped in a taxi and he went to the Gezira Club to play with a wild dog. "His father was worried at first, but didn't get angry," says a 53-year-old architect called Mohamed el-Naggar. "But a ten-year-old Egyptian boy would be harshly punished by his parents for behaving like that." Teenagers are usually sensitive, passionate, moody, isolated and very reliant on friends. As for the Emos who recently appeared in Egypt, they typify all that is negative in teenagers. The Emos love music and all have the same hairstyle. They usually wear black, which is the colour they see life with. Emos are very negative, even suicidal young people. According to Dalia, the media trend of promoting ‘special individuals' is unhealthy, "because it makes the unusual usual". She warns that, if young people are constantly bombarded with stories about boys sexually harassing girls and marrying the orfi way or about the suicidal Emos, they will say to themselves: "I have heard this before, so it won't be strange if I do likewise." Teenagers should know how to deal with the outside world, especially the Internet, friends and the media. Recent statistics report, alarmingly, that of any country in the world, Egypt comes second in terms of people accessing pornographic websites. "Twitter, Facebook and YouTube have become the close companions of teenagers in Egypt, rather than their families; they scorn the advice they get from their relatives," says Ayat al-Habal, a 26-year-old journalist and a member of the Eye on Tomorrow Centre. Ayat stresses that the media should focus on the positive things that teenagers do, rather than dwelling on all their sex and drugs scandals. She adds that parents must keep on communicating with their children. They must be realistic, as very few teenagers can ever be described as being ‘ideal'. Parents were teenagers once and they need to share their own teenage experiences with their teenage children, as they've been through all the up and downs themselves. Girls at this age should bear in mind that love and passion are not only for their beloved; they should love their sisters, brothers and parents too, advise specialists. Many teenagers become depressed when their love stories go wrong; but they need to look beyond these failed experiences. "Although I studied at (Islamic) Al-Azhar University, I can't deny that I tried smoking and going out with girls, but I didn't continue because my upbringing and education were a strong defence for me," says a young man called Mohamed el-Naggar. "A good education is like a gold coin. The coin might get dusty but it won't rust. Wipe the dust off and it will shine again," says Dalia.
