AMSTERDAM: I took an Easyjet mini-break to Amsterdam over the Easter weekend to indulge a craving that is difficult to enjoy in a relaxed atmosphere in Cairo. Amsterdam is known as the liberalist of cities where anything goes and every kind of Pulp Fiction post punk rocker wants to dip into her pleasures. Taking advantage of this I cut loose for two nights to feast at her table. Putting my snout into the trough, I devoured bacon, ham, hot dogs and pork fillets barbequed to perfection in one of the Argentinean steak houses that proliferate along the canals. Amsterdam may well be Europe's party capital, but it is also its pork capital. The Netherlands has more than 20 million pigs that arguably produce the world's best pork products. That is two pigs for every human. A ratio you can also metaphorically find in some other cities. According to a comprehensive pork industry web site, thepigsite.com, "Pork is the most highly consumed meat in the world today . The taste of pork, which well may have addictive properties, should not be underestimated. I would estimate that 90 percent of returning British expatriate's luggage bulges with packets of bacon and pork & leek sausages. These are a staple of British culinary life and without a weekly fix of pork, Cairo expatriates can be a little testy. It is akin to a physical addiction and they get their fix most weekends when that sweet sound of sizzling bacon wafts from their kitchens, which may well keep the Brits sane in the Cairo mixer. I am not too sure what the Americans, French or Indians use as a cultural fix in Cairo, but I am sure that an inspection of their luggage on arrival would produce more than just a year's supply of properly fitting pants and the latest TV sit-coms on pirated DVDs. But if you are looking for a new business opportunity, start up a pork product import business. There are approximately 30,000 Brits in Cairo who would give their right arm for a fry up on a Saturday. Amsterdam is one of the great walking cities, not only because it is flat and easy to navigate but it is full of surprises. Women wave hello from windows and the young people crowded into the coffee shops and side-walk cafes find the silliest jokes to be funny. The Dutch are known for their sense of humour, I believe. The famous Amsterdam coffee house is under threat of extinction as the European Union continues to stub out smoking in public places. Wales was the latest nation to ban smoking in bars and restaurants on April 2, Paris is scheduled to follow soon and The Netherlands may be taking steps in 2008. Twenty something years ago I tramped around Europe living on a sailor's diet of bread, oranges and vino. I huddled inside churches for warmth and loitered around museums and art galleries for a chance to tag-along with a tour group and avoid paying the entrance fee. This Easter in Amsterdam I visited the Van Gough Museum, a pathetic-looking building from the 1970s housing the crème de la crème of Dutch art. Unfortunately it was more crowded than a Cairo subway so I took up a position among the food concessions in the garden and taste-tested the array of pork hot dogs to be served with ketchup, mayonnaise and a special sauce. Modern pork products, mmmm, they are the real masterpieces of the 20th century. It is best to take your coffee outside in Amsterdamage, as the backpacker's generation called her, at a table along one of the many canals. Tourists and locals pedal past and there is more traffic on the water than vehicles on the road. Quintessentially European, Amsterdam has not succumbed to the hypermarket shopping mall night-mare. I think a "shopper's paradise is a contradiction in terms, but a street which is full of fresh flower stalls is just beautiful. Streets where vehicles are an endangered species, just tranquil and a city where much of the land is given over to canals is just magical at night. I do hope it is not swamped by the rising tide of global warming. Of course environmental threats come and go. It was about 20 years ago, around the time of my sailor diet that environmentalists in The Netherlands were warning against the extraordinary amounts of methane gas emanating from pits of pig faeces. Al Gore didn't mention that one in polite society, did he? Ah, they may be filthy animals, but they sure are tasty.
