I am being stalked. I was lolling in my bed a few nights ago. Correction. I was deep in sleep a few nights ago, and my mobile phone suddenly rang on loud, nearly knocking me out of bed with its hideously high-pitched drone. I answered. Why, exactly, I'm still asking myself. There were a few anxious 'hello's' in a thick Egyptian accent, before my screeching back, in my thick English accent, "Meen ma'aya, meen ma'aya? . The answer was short, and, depending how easily you scare, quite sweet. "I'm sorry to call at this hour, but I just want to get to know you. "Did this young man have psychological problems? I thought. Maybe he got my number confused with the Good Samaritans. I'm certainly no counselor, and at four in the morning, was more annoyed with being woken up than the inane fawning of a potential admirer. So, in a low, quiet and ultra-stern tone I'd carefully fashioned for myself since arriving in the country, I said, "If you phone me back again, I will call the police, and the embassy. Well that did it. The police I might have just have got away with, but the embassy was interpreted as a blatant come on. "I didn't know you were from outside Egypt. It was basically a conversation starter. Realizing my mistake, I quickly canceled, only to be rung back a few seconds later. After a series of canceling again and again, he finally got the message, until, that is, the next morning. "Who is this, I asked again. The answer, again, short, sweet and perfectly rehearsed. "An admirer, The voice replied. I found the whole situation so hysterical I burst into wild hoots of laughter, which seemed to do the trick. He got bored, or was perhaps just embarrassed that his macho advances were inadvertently transforming his inamorata into some wild hyena, and hung up. But this phone stalking is nothing new here. Lonely young men tend to ring up random numbers until they find a female phone-mate, and then proceed to try and chat them up over the phone. A friend of mine, Samah, once had to contend with a phone stalker for over a month, until a male friend had given him a verbal walloping. But even that failed to take the wind out of the persistent little twerp, and within a few weeks he was back on call. "It was quite terrifying for a while, said Samah, "I had to put up with someone I didn't know making suggestive comments. Sometimes I tried to make him stop ringing, but that seemed to encourage him. Sometimes I just put the phone down. The problem was, he called from a different number every time, so I didn't know how to put a stop to it. Working in a field where you're phone number is public property, there's not much one can do to stunt the stalkers. But there's definitely something degrading about unwanted callers. "To have somebody constantly ringing and making rude comments can be scary, and really knock your self-confidence. It can make you feel scared even being alone, said Samah. So, when admonitions fail to do their job, what can one really do to stop these phone stalkers? Option one: change your number. Option two: call the police, who can trace the caller, but will probably find him sitting at a public 'mobile box'. Option three: put your brother, father, husband on the phone to send him packing. However, this may unintentionally make the stalkee appear vulnerable in the eyes of the stalker... Or option four, just have a good chuckle at his expense. If the little sucker is used to scaring emotionally susceptible females, best to put him in his place: that of a comic.
