SINGAPORE: While not technically illegal, Singapore's new trend of swingers parties has some couples fearful they could be arrested. But the “excitement" of the events have them coming back for more. At a number of upscale couples' homes in the Southeast Asian city-state, groups of couples come together for a night of sexual pleasure, swapping their “regular" partners with others in the hopes for enjoyment. “I just enjoy the idea that it is all kind of a mystery," said Thomas, who told Bikyamasr.com that after five years of marriage with his wife Sohar, they believed they needed a change. Swinging has become a way of life for them. “We probably attend three or four parties monthly in the city and while they are quite secretive right now, more and more couples are coming," he added. For Sohar, an Indian-Singaporean, the idea was at first appalling. She said she couldn't see herself just going to a party and being with another man. On the first night, she said she just watched. But after that, the “charge" of the idea took hold. “I am now usually very excited and try to pick out the person I want to be with. It has made our marriage stronger and I think it is good for our health," she argued. The events are usually word of mouth, although a few cryptic Facebook pages have sprouted up in the city to inform potential swingers of the next event. The only regulation is that couples are allowed. Singles are forbidden. For Daniel, a UK citizen who holds two such parties monthly at his flat, he said the idea came to him after he and his wife caught each other watching porn on their computers. “We just thought that why watch others have sex when we could do that," he told Bikyamasr.com, “so we kind of shopped around and found a few couples to join us and then it has grown into a larger thing. We now have parties with over 12 couples. It is very exciting." But some in the country who have heard of the parties have called for them to stop, saying they are a poor example for children. Psychologist Lee Wong, who deals with couples' therapy, said that while the initial emotional high is strong, “we know through years of research, study and dealing with patients that swinging is a prime way to end a relationship. That is basically what they are doing, but they still want to hold onto something, and it is usually a memory of their happiness." He said that he has already seen two couples come to him with similar issues and both have now split because of what they have seen the other do. “It is not good for society as a whole, but if people want to do it, then who are we to stop them," he added. For now, couples are enjoying and indulging in their desires on a weekly basis, and it isn't just limited to their relationships. BN
