Some three-quarters of all European flights have been grounded for days. It’s a bit like Azkaban over here, although that probably has more to do with the approach of the British General Election. If you believe the mainstream press then the lack of flights is due to a big black cloud of ash that was spewed out from a volcano in Iceland. A likely story. It’s no secret that Iceland has been struggling to stabilize its economy, and with all the money that the British, American (et al) governments have pumped into the Arab world, and indeed, the Taliban if my memory serves me correctly, there’s no shortage of dosh in certain ‘Muslim’ countries, particularly when it comes to investing in a nice clean bribe (as opposed to pointlessly squandering it on the alleviation of domestic famine or some similar meaningless cause). There is no way that I am buying this one, I’m afraid. A volcano… in Iceland? Surely by the very nature of the climate, such a claim is a thermo-impossibility? With nobody getting into the country, surely we cannot take the Icelandic word for it? I’m not even convinced the volcano exists. The “Eyjafjallajokull†volcano… I’d bet any money (if Muslims weren’t forbidden from gambling) that al-Qaeda was sitting at the keyboard, pondering what to call this phony volcano when someone sneezed and accidentally typed “Eyjafjallajokullâ€. Or even more likely, they were having a laugh (terrorists like to joke too) when they came up with the name … I can just imagine the board meeting: Al-Qaeda crony: “Hey, hey Osama-B, what about this …?†Osama-B “What you saying, bruv?†Crony: “You know how those Westerners always pronounce our names wrong? I mean, the Americans can’t even pronounce Iraq correctly…well how about we give them a word they really won’t be able to say? I don’t know, maybe ‘Ghabababawallywally’ or ‘Eyjafjallajokull’ ?†Osama-B: Duuuude, you are literally a genius. Khaaa kha kha kha kha (that’s how all Arabs laugh). Long and short-haul flights have been suspended, clouds of black smoke hang over our skies, three-quarters of all European flights frozen- much of the continent is a no-fly zone. Surely I am not the only one who thinks this looks suspicious? The Met Office warned that the ash cloud will occupy the skies above the whole of the UK. I’m guessing that is retaliation for all the occupying our empire has done. According to the International Air Transport Association, Europe is losing £130m a day. Unsurprisingly, as an unashamedly consumerist society, it didn’t take al-Qaeda long to locate our ever-diminishing family jewels. An explosion, followed by the grounding of flights? Wake up, people. It isn’t nature. These are full-blown dishdasha-d antics, committed by a group who have finally decided to play fair and spare lives. Nobody likes a killer. Injuring Western economies, however…well it’s a crafty move Osama-B, I’ll give you that. BM
